Invariably with my viral links, I left out blogs I meant to have included. I’ve left Average Joe Blogger out twice now, even though I thought about him prior to writing the Pirate Links and probably the previous list too.

This story will be about a crew who has been left on a desert island after having been ransacked by a group of pirates.

“Where are we, Captain?” asked Bloggrrl.

“It appears to be a deserted island,” said CHESSNOID.

“Heck if I know,” said the Captain. “I was minding my own business, reading the Net Business Journal, when next thing I knew, this burly peg-legged brute pulled me out of the john and knocked me unconscious. I woke up here, which seems to be A Nice Place in the Sun.”

“I say we find those soulless savages and demand back our ship!” cried Average Joe Blogger.

“Teach Me to Make Money Online,” said The Copywriting Maven.

“We’ve got more important things to worry about,” answered (The Blog Formerly Known as) Taosbound.

“You want A Little Piece of Me, punk?” asked The Copywriting Maven. “Well, do you?”

“Let’s move Beyond the Rhetoric,” said the Captain. “I think I’ve been here before. We just have to take the Road Less Unraveled, then pass through the Back Lot Projects until we reach Skittle’s Place.”

“Neatorama!” exclaimed the Nerdy Nomad.

“I’ve Tried That, Captain,” said Brave New Traveler. “And I wound up at the OFW Center and all I got for my trouble was a broken BlueJar.”

“That’s just Easy Tech Talk,” said Shaun Low. “You can’t get there from here, Captain.”

“Does anyone else hear voices?” asked the Blog Duck.

“That’s just Voiceovers by Tim McLaughlin Blog,” said Bloggrrl. “Just ignore it, and you won’t even notice them after a while.”

“I say we beat those pirates at their own game,” said Average Joe Blogger. “We should look around for some Market Treasure! That’s How I Will Be Rich!”

“Those dirty pirates took all my Writer’s Notes and my Adsense Tips!” cried The Copywriting Maven.

“Let’s get them all on Bloggings Most Wanted!” said The Alien Next Door. “Once the show airs, they won’t be able to go anywhere without people recognizing them!”

“Yes!” The crowd cheered.

“First, we have to get off this island!” exclaimed the Captain.

Suddenly, they all turned as they heard the sound of a creaking door.

“Knock it off down there, you kids! We have Moms Writing! We can’t Think Like Them with all that racket you’re making!”

“Ugh, but Mom!” said the Captain.

“You just Blog That Outside or there’ll be a world of hurt waiting when your father gets home!”

Disappointed, the kids all went home because it was way too hot to be playing outside.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Assuming that you are sitting at your computer reading this, stand up. Seriously. Stand up, right now.

Okay, now, walk around the room. Go ahead. I’ll wait…

You found your way back, eh? Wait… Don’t sit down yet.

Now, do it again, but with your eyes closed (don’t do this if this might be dangerous to your particular situation–like if your on a rooftop with your laptop). How far can you get before you bump into something?

If you were blind, you could probably find your way around your room, no problem. The only difference between you (assuming you are not blind) and a blind person is the absence of one–just one–sense, the sense of sight.

How is it that a blind person, not able to see the room, can find his way through, but you cannot, though you have the same other senses that he has?

Familiarity with the room? you argue.

But, don’t you have that same familiarity with your room?

The answer is, of course, that the blind person has refined his other senses in order to compensate for his lack of sight.

However, you do not need to lose a sense in order to strengthen the others!

All it takes is some practice.

Most people have already practiced such refinement with their hearing. Many people are adept at shutting out the noise and conversations around them in order to eavesdrop on a particular conversation.

Mechanics and other people that work with machinery can tune out different sounds in order to identify and troubleshoot a particular sound. To the average person, the machine makes noise. But, to the skilled operator, the machine makes a certain series of sounds when it is running properly and a different series of sounds when it is not.

Whether you want to refine your sense of sight, smell, hearing, taste, or touch, you can do so with practice.

Spend just five minutes a day practicing, and you’ll soon see how much you can improve your senses!

For your sight, look around you. What things are you looking at everyday, but not seeing? I have seen people come to a place of business, pull on the locked door, and walk away in bewilderment, while never seeing the sign on the door that says the concern moved a couple doors down.

For your hearing, you can sit in your home or office, or even outside if you wish. Listen to the sounds around you and practice honing in on particular sounds. Maybe you hear the clock ticking. Focus on it. Despite the fact that the ticking does not growing louder, it will seem so as your focus turns to it and away from the other sounds in the room. People talk of tunnel vision, but few realize that this type of narrow-focus can be applied to the other senses as well.

For your sense of taste, try different foods. Try to determine the ingredient or the spices that seasoned the meal. Try to pick out individual flavors. Start with ones that are bold and noticeable, then work your way up to identifying the more subtle taste sensations.

For your sense of smell, notice the smells around you in the room. You can smell foods in the kitchen. Maybe the perfumes and colognes of your last guests in the living room. Try to separate the different smells, and focus on one in particular. Then, move to the next.

For your sense of touch, examine different textures. Feel paper. Notice the smoothness or maybe the texture of the sheet. Feel the different textures of your clothing. Close your eyes and try to identify things simply by touching them. The aid of a trusted partner can be helpful in this instance.

With practice and focus, you can improve all of your senses. There is a boundless world of discovery around you that you probably never even notice. Explore it!

Popularity: 9% [?]

Raise your hand (i.e., leave a comment), if you read science fiction. Novels or short stories or both.

How about fantasy? Horror?

Anyone?

Popularity: 7% [?]

Adapted from “The A³ of ♥’s Equation For Attraction.”

The A-Cubed Rule of Blogging

The Three A’s:

1. Attentiveness

3. Audience

Got it? Let’s go over each one…

ATTENTIVENESS

“Eden is. ‘The kingdom of the Father is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it.’”
–Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth with Bill Moyers; The Gospel of Thomas

You’ve got to pay attention! This applies not just to what you write, but your whole blog experience.

Is your blog readable? Are ads or widgets getting in the way of your readers’ experience? Are the sites you link to still relevant? Are they even still around?

You need to pay attention to the small details. Broken links, broken image links, etc. make for a lower quality user experience. Worse yet, is if your old friend’s blog is now a porn site, because he quit blogging and never renewed his domain name.

Be mindful of not just the content of your individual posts, but also everything that surrounds that content while the reader is reading your article.

ADVENTUROUS

“There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea’s asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there’s danger, somewhere there’s injustice, and somewhere else the tea’s getting cold! Come on, Ace — we’ve got work to do!”
–The 7th Doctor, Doctor Who, “Survival”

Don’t be afraid to stray off-topic once in a while. Better yet, find a way to bend those off-topic posts back on-topic.

Take your readers on a wild adventure–an adventure of the mind. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been to the Himalayas or the Coliseum or even Antarctica. If you’re creative, you can take your readers on an exciting ride through your grocery store, your backyard or even your refrigerator.

Heck, some of the A-listers get away with posting pictures of their dinner. Why not you?

AUDIENCE

“Actors should be overheard, not listened to, and the audience is 50 percent of the performance.”
–Shirley Booth

You also need to get your audience involved, not just by reading, but by actively participating in your blog (and you need to return the favor!).

It seems somewhat odd that communities form around blogs, especially since the previous incarnation of online communities were forums. But, even if you look back to those days, the most active forums were those that were led by one or a small group of people. Is blogging all that different?

Remember, the A-Cubed Rule of blogging isn’t all about you. It is about your readers and the experience you create with them–not for them, but with them.

Popularity: 7% [?]

“However, if truth be told, I live to stretch any and all rules whenever possible.“

I knew there was a reason we all liked her.

But, anyway, do you see what she’s doing now? She linked to me from this post–another “relationship” post.

Devious, she is. You see what she’s trying to do, don’t you? This is all part of her devilish plot to turn my blog into a relationship blog, goading me into responding to her relationship posts.

Well, the joke’s on her, because I’m working on a relationship blog, so this blog WILL NOT BE ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! Ha!

So, if she thinks I’m going to do another “ad” for her, well, I will, but it will be on that blog!

Instead, I will take her relationship formula and adapt it to blogging. That will be in a separate post, so stay tuned (I’m working on it in another window as I type this).

This is another benefit of having a blog sparring partner.

Sometimes, when you can’t come up with something to post, you can borrow from your sparring partner, and make it better. Muhahahahaha!

You can follow-up on it, adapt it to something else, or just use it as a springboard to some wild tangent.

You can choose someone smart, like I have, or someone less smart (smartless?). Both have their uses.

And, you can also wonder about your sparring partner. See, Joanne comes up with stuff like “Adventure is a journey to be enjoyed” and “Love shouldn’t be routine, but a renewal.”

See, it’s stuff like that that makes me think she’s lying about her age. Either that, or she has an old soul.

It must be the latter, because no self-respecting older adult would name Michael Bublé over George Michael! Wham! C’mon!

And just where is Michael Fultz? He knows these songs…

At any rate, once I get my relationship site going (re-going actually), maybe I’ll have to figure out a way of enticing her to be a columnist or something.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Perhaps an off-the-wall bit of motivation, but love songs often have the power to move you.

I’ll do this a little differently. I’ll list the quote. You (in the comments) identify the song and artist.

The only prize is bragging rights.

1. “I’m going crazy, I’m losing sleep. I’m in too far. I’m in too deep over you.”
–Cheap Trick, “The Flame”
Answered by Sabrina

2. “Oh I had a dream, for a moment I believed it was true.”
–Icehouse, “Electric Blue”
Answered by Lewis Empire

3. “I dreamt the impossible–that maybe things could work out right.”
–Johnny Hates Jazz, “Shattered Dreams”
Answered by Lewis Empire

4. “One day you may find true love that will last forever and ever.”

5. “Say my name, sun shines through the rain. A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain.”
–The Bangles, “Eternal Flame”
Answered by JD

6. “Am I just fooling myself that she’ll stop the pain. Living without her I’d go insane.”

7. “What seemed to be an infatuation is so different now. I can’t get by if we’re not together.”
–Foreigner, “I Don’t Want to Live Without You”
Answered by Lewis Empire

8. “You’ll never find peace of mind till you listen to your heart.”
–George Michael, “Kissing a Fool”
Answered by Joanne

9. “I told you that we could fly ’cause we all have wings, but some of us don’t know why.”

10. “Long as the night will be, the sun will rise without you.”
–Paul Carrack, “Don’t Shed a Tear”
Answered by Lewis Empire

Popularity: 10% [?]

Yo-ho-ho! It’s time for some more viral links. The idea is for readers to copy the list, add their own links and write about it to encourage their readers to do the same. (Bryan explains it better.) But, I don’t like to do a simple listing. Google doesn’t like it, and it’s not terribly interesting, especially for your readers. So, I like to kick it up a notch.

But, how could I possibly top the last one? Avast, ye scurvy dogs, it’s best not to even try. Instead, we’ll do something different, bucko. We’ll head out on the high seas, and tell a tale of a fateful trip on board a tiny ship…

“Blimey!” cried the Pirate King, when he heard John Cow tell him of A-Listers Found Guilty of Stealing. “Why, they ought to dance with Jack Ketch, them bilge-sucking dogs!”

“If people wants to make the booty, they oughtta read MakeCentsOnline.com,” answered his first mate, known only as the Boston Brat.

Miri Guy said, “Bah! They gots to read E-Revenue Select!”

“Who are these A-Listers anyway?” asked Boogie Mum. “John Chow? Ryan Shamus? Terence Chang? Phil McDonnell?”

“Phil who? Is he The Insane Writer?” the Vegan Momma inquired.

“I’m sure that was Chris Bloczynski. Or was it ChrisBlogging?” said the Groovy Vegetarian.

“Who cares!?” exclaimed Mr. Baconpants. “I Hate Your Job, I Hate My Job and I just want to Escape Job Hell with my Blogging Expertise and My New Hustle!”

“Avast, ye addled dogs!” the Pirate King stomped his peg-leg. “I say we pillage the Norwegian Photo Blog, Picture Clusters, Kenibatz’s blog of photos and set a course for Marketing Land. We’ll cast anchor at The Happy Rock. Then, we’ll declare Poewar on those landlubbers, and attack the Lewis Empire and the Bamboo Nation. It’s Technically Easy and that’s How I Will Be Rich! High Fivez all ’round, mates!”

All hands roared with delight.

“But, wait!” cried black-booted twins Omicra and Komirad, una voce. “We’ll first ‘ave to cross the Untwisted Vortex and beware the CyberSurge! We’ll need to be mindful of the Digital Lost Boys, who troll the eastern seas with their Slyvisions of glory. Is it all worth it to achieve just One Man’s Goal?”

Some in the crowd cheered, while others jeered.

“Argh!” said the Pirate King. “When ye all joined the Misdo Club, ye all put yer scurvy hands on the Rich Minx and swore the Zr5 oath of Misdo Link Love! I Do Things, and I’m not here to be your Blogamama! I Am Facing Millions! But, would ye rather play some Queen City Hoops and write A Blog About Nothing? I oughtta make ye all kiss the gunner’s daughter!”

Etienne Teo said, “Hey, how about some Blogging Tips?”

“Don’t change the subject!” cried the Pirate King. “All right, me hearties. If ye all are so afraid, get the Mobile Phone Geek up on the deck. We’ll ring up the Oil Offshore Marine. If he ain’t Hiding-N-Public, he’ll surely cast his lot with us. He took on The King Kong Blog and the Olympic Blogger, and knocked ‘em both all the way to E-World Vu. He’ll know what to do!”

While the call was being made, the crew continued to chatter.

“Have you heard of A Blog That Lies?” asked Rammel Firdaus.

“Nah, but I’ve been to Don Biz Blogger,” replied Groovy Entrepreneur.

“I read about Net Monetization at the Everything Finance Blog, or was it the Forex Trading Blog?” said Bosun Mouseki.

“I was following a Fashion Style Trend, when I took Exit 78 and wound up at Port Demp.se/y,” said the old salt Walnut.

“What’dye think of it?” asked the Marketing Deviant.

“It was very blue.”

“Belay!” boomed the Pirate King. “Enough of yer Life Snippets! We’re Lost in Technology, and we couldn’t get through to the Marine. But, we reached the Cariboo Ponderer who had some Tips Supremo. But, he’s Smart Not Cheap, so it took some Scraps of Mind and some calculating from The Budget Babe, but we formulated a One Year Goal to pay him off with Your Website Profit…”

“Who’s website profit?” asked the Utah SEO.

“Your Website Profit,” replied the Pirate King. “Not mine. I’m not giving away any of my Net Hustlin’ earnings!”

“Why, you’ve got some Blogging Bits on you if you think we’re giving up our website profits,” said the Coffee Sewing Mom. “I’ll report you to The Daily Fuzz and they’ll send Lillie Ammann after you with some Chill Technology.”

“Let’s hoist him up by his Techie Zone,” exclaimed The Dragon Project.

The crew cheered and several hands grabbed the Pirate King.

“That’s me father yer manhandling, ye cowardly swabs,” cried The Laidback Buddhist.

“Let’s get some Mottekaero Mister Donuts,” suggested The Contest Winner.

“I’ve been around the Webd360 and ended up at The Last Page on the Net,” said Willis Chan dot Com. “But I Should Have Bred Iguanas instead.”

“I’ve been to some Weird Websites,” said Terri Terri Quite Contrary. “I was Going The Wong Way, when I stumbled upon the Bimbo With a Twist, Allscm.com and the Dumb Ox Daily News.”

“That’s nothing,” replied Syaf the Geek. “I’ve been to Random Encounters of We, SEO: Project search engine friendly web directory and blog, Blogging Mix, The Blogging Experiment, It’s Write Now, Blog Sonar and Pro Blog Design.”

“What’s weird about any of them?” asked the Cubicle Denizen.

“I thought we were listing places we’ve been. Did I mention Debo Hobo dot Com?”

“Bilge!” cried the Pirate King, shaking off the men who had been holding him. “Before ye all get yer rantbits.com in a bunch, ye best be deciding what yer gonna do next before I have ye all keelhauled! In all My Wanderings, I’ve never seen such a poxy group of dogs!”

“Well, let’s all Sigh, Say Cheese and take a Breather before we get back to thinking,” offered The Diva Network.

“If you’re happy, I would be; from a distance,” said Keeyit.

“I hope we haven’t forgotten anybody from the crew at DCR Blogs,” said The Thought Sponge.

“Where’s my cheese?” asked Master Halo 3.

“Stopover sometime, big boy,” said Fiona is Me to the Pirate King. “And I’ll show you The Daily Trend on The Journey to 30.”

The Pirate King replied, “Maybe Just Another Day. Okay, ye scurvy dogs, let’s make our plans to pillage the village and loot the booty!”

“Quiet!” said The Groovy Vegetarian. “My Mother’s Home!”

“Same time tomorrow?” whispered the Pirate King.

Everyone nodded “yes” as they snuck out the back door and headed home.

Popularity: 25% [?]

This contest had twice as many entrants as the last one! Woohoo!

This time, our entrants were: Icedragon and Alex.

The drawing was held, and a winner randomly selected. This time, I did not do a reverse draw. Instead, the first name drawn was to be the winner.

And, that winner is…

Drumroll please…

Icedragon!

Congratulations and thanks to all who participated.

Popularity: 8% [?]

“I’m not exactly sure how to explain what that is since I’ve never experienced it myself.“

In the interest of helping Joanne out and to give her a taste of that experience, I have developed this list of the seven ways blogging is like marriage. Plus, it’s also a lame excuse to quote and link to her marriage post in a pathetic effort to get my point score up.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes… This post shows you how blogging is like being married, and will give you some tips on how that insight can help improve your blog. Maybe vice versa too.

Please note that this post is from a U.S.-centric perspective. Those of you in other countries, well, your laws and customs may differ, but please keep reading ’cause there is sure to be some tips of use to you.

1. Common Law Marriage

In some areas, you don’t have to have a marriage license to get married. If you start living together and, ahem, behaving like a married couple, you have a common law marriage.

In blogging terms, this would be like setting up your blog on one of the big name blogging sites. It’s like you’re not quite committed to blogging, but you’re a de facto blogger whether you like it or not.

2. Marriage License

In other areas, you’re going to need a marriage license to be recognized as a married couple.

In the blogosphere, this is like registering your own domain name. You’re announcing to the world that you are serious about blogging, and you’re willing to make the investment to do so.

3. The Wedding Day

Perhaps you’re nervous with anticipation. Maybe your feet are getting a bit cold? In any case, it’s the Big Day. You’ve spent a lot of time making sure every detail is perfect, down to making sure none of the bridesmaids will look prettier than you, or your groom, or anyone else in the room, you cruel, cruel…

Sorry. Anyway, like preparing for your Wedding Day, you’ve likely spent some time preparing your blog. You’ve checked into the widgets and plugins and all that stuff you want to have. You’ve selected a theme, and maybe made a logo. You’ve really put some effort into it, and you can’t wait for everyone to see it.

By the way, if you’re planning an actual wedding, you might want to check out this free Wedding Planner.

4. The Honeymoon

Now, you’re married. I’ll leave the rest of the honeymoon details to your imagination…

In the blogging world, your first few days as a blogger is like a honeymoon. At first, your blog is just lying there, naked, waiting for your fingers to work their magic. And, soon enough, your fingers get to work.

For the first few days, you crank out posts like there’s no tomorrow. Being a blogger is great! It’s fun. You can’t wait to share every minutia of your daily life with the two or three strangers who happened to find your blog, but would rather be watching something else.

5. The Next Fifty Freakin’ Years

If you chose wisely, and chose a partner or topic you’re compatible and comfortable with, you can be a happy and productive blogger. You’ll continue writing every day and look forward to doing it.

On the other hand, if you did not choose wisely, and are stuck with a partner or topic you’re not comfortable with, facing each day can be a real grind, not unlike a dog, a panic in a pagoda. (Sorry, just had to find a way to work that in somewhere.)

You’ll have difficulty coming up with topics, you won’t look forward to getting up in the morning, and you’ll stay late at the office to avoid coming home to your blog.

In either situation, you will have days where you just cannot come up with something to post, which will be more often the case in the latter rather than the former, but still a trouble for both at times.

6. Renewing Your Marriage Vows

When you reach the point where things are not as exciting as they used to be, and you feel like you’re just phoning it in on most days, you’ll need to find ways to recharge, to take a break and renew your courtship with your blog. Find ways to spice it up. Maybe you need to try new things or redecorate. Find the spark that you once saw in it and try to recreate it.

7. Divorce

Sadly, if your blog just isn’t working out for you, it may be time to consider a divorce. Maybe you can pawn it off on someone else, or maybe you’ll just drift your separate ways.

Fortunately, in the case of a blog, you probably won’t lose half your stuff. Chances are, if you’re a poor blogger, you probably already lost half your stuff spending way too much money promoting the thing when you only managed a post three times a month.

Conclusion

Hey, you’re still here? Cool.

Anyway, like marriage, your blog is only going to be as good as the effort you are willing to put into it. And, though it may not seem to be so, it is a two-way street. Your relationship is not with a spouse, but with your readers. The blog is the bond that marries the two of you together. Remember that.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Sadly, there must not be enough money in Arts and Literature these days.

A short time ago, Pericles visited my blog and left a comment.

As my astute readers are no doubt aware, Pericles was once an Athenian general and statesman during Athens’ Golden Age. He promoted the arts and literature, making Athens a cultural center of the ancient world. (His political challenges are not all together different from the stuff that goes on today.)

Sadly, however, Pericles has fallen on tough times. In addition to being dead, he is apparently struggling to make ends meet, and is now something of a used car salesman.

His comment on my blog was nothing more than spam for half a dozen car sites. I don’t know what they were selling; I didn’t look that closely.

Poor Pericles. I had to delete his comment, but I am hopeful that he will find a more honorable way to make a living in the future.

Popularity: 5% [?]