Spam Q&A
The spam messages that get past my spam filters frequently have questions in their subject lines. Since I don’t respond to spam, I’ll answer those questions here.
Want to smile again?
Can’t you see me smiling? Upper right hand corner, see?
Are you confident in bed?
I’m generally asleep in bed, but I suppose I retain my self-confidence during my non-waking hours.
Need a loan?
I’d prefer a gift of cash. I’ll take a check or money order too. Heck, you’ve got my eMail address, just send it via PayPal.
Financial worries?
Not if you send me the aforementioned cash, check, money order or PayPal.
When your mind wanders, does it prefer mystery or romance?
It prefers SciFi.
Anything else?
I don’t know. You’re the one asking the questions.
Can you tell me what’s wrong, and how we can fix it?
What’s wrong is that you keep spamming me and you can fix it by not doing it anymore!
We have done a mistake.
True, but that wasn’t a question.
How do you define excellence?
Do I look like a dictionary to you? Look it up yourself!
Are you ashamed of the look of your car?
Nope.
Need a checking account?
Got one. Thanks anyway.
Sick of dieting?
Nope. I don’t diet.
Can you imagine that you are healthy?
Yes.
What’s on your coffee wish list?
Tea.
Do you have any refund policy?
Yes, but I have no record of you buying anything from me.
Dryer leaving your clothes damp?
Nope.
Dan in prison?
Nope, but have you read about the spammer that went to the slammer?
Do you want Rolex?
I’ll pass.
Do you own a timeshare?
No, and I don’t want to buy one either.
Thank for your time.
Please don’t eMail me again.
I don’t know what we’d do without spam. After all, how would we know what we actually needed?
And how else would people know their significant others are cheating on them with the guy/girl who’s using whatever magic pill/cream/formula/beverage they are trying to sell?
[...] Guy answers his Spam do they hear him? - Interesting blog post by an interesting blogger. DCRblogs has some very original posts. [...]
Ok…this one breaks the writers block I’ve been gripped by…something going up on The Net Business Journal abut this tonight!
Oh..and thanks for the reinforcement on the domain we managed to snag for my better half…I thought it was pretty cool but now I feel validated
Looks like she’s been busy on it too! I’ve got it in my list of blogs to add to my Blogs O’Plenty listing.