People Just Don’t Understand
“A Vorlon said understanding is a three edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth.”
–John Sheridan, Babylon 5, “Into the Fire”
The thing is people don’t want to understand. They don’t want to know the truth. They want to believe that their side, whatever it may be, is the truth.
Because sometimes truth is hard. It may be complicated. It is probably something people don’t want to hear. So, they pick a side, their version of the truth. If anyone says anything contradictory, they get angry, they get frustrated, they cover their ears and sing “lalalalala” because they don’t want to hear it.
Truth? Some don’t even believe there can be truth. Truth isn’t objective, it is subjective, they argue. Such muddy thinking may be a worse oppression than even shackles and chains can manage.
In this day and age, few are immune to the demands of dogma, even those who think they are thinking most rationally. A critical examination of people on the right or left, liberal or conservative, religious or agnostic/atheist will reveal that each has their own versions of the “truth” and critical thinking, reason and even science are accepted, rejected or rationalized away based on the person’s own concept of the “truth” and not what evidence or anything else shows is the truth.
One need only look at forwarded eMails from friends and relatives to see this at work. A quick look at Snopes.com will show the truth of many urban legends. Yet, even when pointed out to people, they will continue to believe a forwarded eMail and continue to pass it along, because it seems true to them. Or, well, they just want to help other people. No big deal if it’s not true, right? It might be true, so why take the chance?
And, so myth becomes truth. Truth becomes mistruth. And a “dumbing down” effect takes hold as people throw out critical thinking in favor of “I just want to help!” Sometimes the truth may hurt, but mistruth rarely ever helps.
We see this in other areas too. People don’t want to be told they are wrong. They don’t want to admit they’ve been doing things the wrong way. They would prefer to fail again and again, or to remain in the same station for life, than to accept that their “truth” is wrong.
Thus, we see why so many people, while working hard, don’t necessarily work smarter. They don’t like criticism. They are resistant to change. They don’t want to learn new ways of doing things.
They would rather believe in their own “truths.” They would rather believe that it is someone else who is keeping them down, than to accept the truth that it is they themselves who are holding them back. They would rather work harder at doing the same thing again and again, each time believing that this time will be different, this time they will succeed, rather than to accept that they are doing things the wrong way and will likely never succeed because of it.
To be successful means that you have to be willing to learn. One must also learn to accept that what you previously learned may have been in error, or that you have remembered it wrongly, or that things have changed and the old ways are no longer the best or right way.
Success comes from understanding. And understanding comes from not from caressing either side of a blade, but by running your finger across its edge and risking getting cut. The truth may hurt, but avoiding the pain will hurt you more.
Believe. Act. Achieve!
Tough message, but very true.
What a great message. I have always believed that everything in life is a matter of perception and that the only change you can affect is within yourself, which sometimes breeds change in others.
Recently I’ve hit some critical times in terms of how I perceive myself, through stained glass I appear successful, ahead of the curve and ready to take on the world. Through an open window it is obvious my house of cards is going to crumble if I don’t take up the bag that I put down several years ago when I quit school. At the sophomore collegiate level I quit because my son needed me more than I needed school - or so I thought. Now in hindsight I realize had I pressed on in the face of that adversity - I would be degreed now and a bit more advanced than I am in terms of career.
The truth is, my son didn’t need me in the way that I thought, he did in fact need help with homework - he did in fact need some dire behavior modification - but I didn’t have to quit school completely and for as long as I have. My truth is that I created this situation - and I alone can better my situation by finishing what I started.
But - my motto is better late than never so my return to school is imminent with Spring registration after Christmas. Truth can be hard to hear and face - but it is the only thing you can face, change and walk away from glad that you found it.