A cheeseburger is a hamburger with a slice of cheese.

Yet, we do not call a hamburger with a slice of onion an onion burger. Nor do we call a hamburger with a leaf of lettuce a lettuce burger.

So, why then does a hamburger ordered with “everything” not include cheese?

Just ask for a cheeseburger with everything, you say?

Well, what if I want a Whopper or a Quarter Pounder with everything? There isn’t a Cheese Whopper on the menu. No, but there’s a Whopper with cheese or a Quarter Pounder with cheese. So, if you want a Whopper with everything, including cheese, you have to order a Whopper with cheese and everything.

Isn’t that redundant? You almost feel stupid having to ask for it that way. You almost expect them to treat you like you’re a moron for thinking that everything doesn’t include cheese.

Almost. Because if you’ve ever ordered “everything” and not gotten cheese, you quickly learn that, no matter how stupid it makes you feel, you have to order a Whopper with cheese and everything.

Of course, one must expect this sort of thing in a culture that votes “w00t” as the word of the year…

And, before any of you launches into a lecture on the badness of eating fast food, I don’t eat fast food seven days a week. I don’t remember the last time I even had a Whopper, so buzz off!

This entry was posted on Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 12:23 pm and is filed under Food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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