Earlier this morning, I was entering the “Etiquette when Nursing Privately” section of chapter one on Practical Points in Nursing. And, I have to wonder, where have our manners gone in today’s society?
For example: “It is a mark of respect for the nurse to rise when the physician enters the room, and to remain standing unless asked to be seated; she should hand him her report, answer all questions, then quietly leave the room.”
Some today may view that as sexist or outdated, but, as detailed in the post, it served a purpose. For one, it was a mark of respect for the physician’s position. Notwithstanding that most doctors were men and nurses were women, it was the position and not the sex of the physician that earned that level of respect.
For another thing, it would give the patient an opportunity to speak to the doctor privately. Maybe the patient had a complaint about the nurse or just didn’t want to discuss certain things with the nurse present.
But, those kinds of things are not what you see in our day and age. And, it’s not just in the medical field that I’m referring, but other areas as well. Removing hats when going indoors, for example. I’m sure there are many things that were considered good manners that, not only do we not do but also we don’t even remember them!
There was a time, for example, when there was respect for the President, because he was the President. Even if you didn’t particularly like the man, you still showed him consideration out of respect for the office he held. We don’t have that anymore.
People cry “free speech” to excuse their actions, but free speech doesn’t have to mean throwing all sense of decency out the window. Take protests at funerals, for example. Neither conservatives nor liberals can claim the moral high ground here. Leftist loonies protested at Ronald Reagan’s funeral, while right-wing nuts protested at Heath Ledger’s funeral. Free speech? Okay, but come on! How about at least showing some consideration for the families who had lost their loved ones? Do the dance of joy in the privacy of your own home if you want, but show some regard for the families.
On the one hand, it’s sad that many of our past manners have fallen into disuse.
On the other hand, I do like things a little more informal. We have lots of social customs that are just nutty. And, I don’t necessarily believe that going through the motions is necessarily a sign of respect. People will do the proper things and all, but, inside, they’re still muttering nasty things about you. People say “Yes, sir” and “No, sir” but they don’t really mean it. They’re saying the words, but that doesn’t mean they are respecting you.
Treating someone kindly shows a heck of a lot more respect than meaningless titles, like “sir” or “ma’am.” And calling a parent “Mom” or “Dad” rather than “Mother” or “Father” or even “ma’am” and “sir” displays a level of closeness that goes beyond respect, and certainly beyond titles. When I was growing up, I knew kids that would show their parents respect with their words, but not their actions. Of the two, I believe the latter is the more important.
On top of that, I don’t necessarily believe that someone automatically earns respect by holding a certain position. There are a lot of stupid and undeserving people who hold positions of authority, and treating such people with respect out of formality strikes me as dishonesty. Again, it goes back to the “Yes, sir” and “No, sir.” You say the words, but you don’t really respect the person because he’s a moron.
Surely, somewhere, there is room for compromise between the (sometimes!) more friendly, personal and informal ways of today and the more respectful and mannerful ways of days long gone.
Popularity: 4% [?]
