So Call Me Nostradamus
A number of years ago, I started a story (that’s still in progress). It takes place in the far future, but a number of significant events in the backstory take place later in this century.
In one part of the backstory, people got fed up with government officials, and started killing them off. Like this.
And, there are other things, that I don’t want to mention because it may spoil the plot.
Am I a prognosticator?
Or, maybe what I visualize comes true, in some way? In that case, what do you want me to visualize for you? Maybe this should be a paid service. Send me $25 and I’ll visualize something for you, just about whatever you’d like. I cannot guarantee that it will come true, but I will visualize it for you. Money is non-refundable; this is for entertainment purposes only; and, all that sort of thing.
Plus, I’ll write up a little story about it and post it. Okay, the price is going to $50 now. These are value-added services.
Let’s break it down:
- Basic Visualization Service: $25
You tell me what you want and I’ll imagine it happening. And, as I mentioned, no guarantees. No physical action will be taken on my part. This is just visualization, not actualization. - Literary Visualization Service: $50
You tell me what you want, and I’ll imagine it happening plus write a short story about it. About 500 words worth. Give or take. Same disclaimers apply as with the Basic Visualization Service. I retain the copyright to the story too. But, you’ll get a linkback when I post it on my blog. - Decorative Literary Visualization Service: $250
Same as the Literary Visualization Service, except that I’ll print out the story on some nice paper and frame it. And mail it to you. Offer limited to customers within the United States.
As I mentioned, no guarantees. So, the $25 Basic Visualization Service is probably pretty much useless. You might as well go to the $50 Literary Visualization Service instead. At least you get something out of it.
Offer expires February 28, 2008. Yes, I know there are 29 days in February this year, but I’m taking the day off.
Now I am just going to have to sue you!!! This is my technique for brainstorming and
marketing with my clients. Most of them just pay for me to visualize their business as
being successful- no real work ever gets done.
I should post something like this on Gartner Web Dev- only my clientèle probably
wouldn’t get the genius of the system. They would expect that some real work gets done, underestimating the power I can unleash with my unharnessed brain and sheer willpower.
This is cutting edge stuff Dad- I am all for it. It’s like how they work on Star Trek
on alien worlds. If you have an affiliate program for you alien brain visualization program
sign me up- I’ll sell it to the eBay crowd.
Okay, so how old do you think I am?
Affiliate program? If I got too many affiliates, I’d be spending way too much time visualizing things and I’m not sure I could do more than one at a time. Plus the affiliates would want a percentage. I’d have to raise my prices.
But, then I could change my tagline to “I make money daydreaming about other people making money.”
This is like taking “The Secret” and outsourcing. I will think positive thoughts on your behalf in exchange for a percentage of your increased income. Think that’ll work?
If I guess your age- do I get a prize?
Anyway- I’m 35 going on 12. The older I get the more juvenile and asinine
I get. It puts me on a level playing field with my five kids. They love it!
Gotta to run- but I am thinking positive thought about your blog. Can I bill
you for my time?
If I guess your age- do I get a prize?
Nope. I was just curious why you called me “Dad.”
Gotta to run- but I am thinking positive thought about your blog. Can I bill
you for my time?
I’m thinking positive things about your blog, so it’s a wash.