Top 7 Ways I Can Help You Kill Your Blog
I am become Shiva, destroyer of blogs! If you have a blog you just can’t kill, I can probably help. Here are the top seven ways I can help you put your blog out of its misery.
- Ask me to be a guest blogger. Two (I think) bloggers once expressed an interest in having me write something for them. Those blogs have since gone the way of the dodo.
- Start a series of articles that interests me. One blogger had a great series started that I was reading every day. Then, the posts stopped and the series was never completed.
- Review my blog. The last blogger that reviewed me (twice) has not been heard from in many months.
- Interview me. Chris Bloczynski interviewed me for his blog, then dropped off the face of the Earth for a couple months.
- Link to me. Judging by my rapidly falling Technorati ranking, blogs that link to me are dropping like flies.
- Get linked in my sidebar as a “Hot Blog.” I keep having to remove blogs because, well, they turn into ghost towns.
- Be my blog sparring partner. Joanne had a rapidly rising Technorati rank, was gaining legions of fans, grew her blog to the point of getting her own domain name, became my blog sparring partner, and stopped blogging on a daily basis. Not necessarily in that order, but you get the picture.
So, there you go. If you need some help delivering some much needed assisted suicide to your blog, you see here the seven ways I can help you out.
Maybe this could be my niche. Maybe I could find a way to charge for the service.
Now I know why I keep getting a call every night about 7 days and death. Thanks for the heads up…
Nah. That was probably just a wrong number.
Maybe.
Based on all this, you should start charging people NOT to review their blogs. Start with guys like John Chow who would lose a lot if their site vanished and work your way down the list!
Dear John Chow,
Please send me $2,000.00 per month (or 10% of your blog’s income that month, whichever is higher) and in return I agree not to review or link to your blog during that month.
Cheers!
I don’t know. That sounds like I’m trying to rob a bank or something. I don’t think it will work. I think I would have to start out by reviewing his site, watching it go down in flames and then asking him for 10% per month to not review TTZ Media, which is where he makes his big bucks.
Hey, wait a minute. You had me confused about my own post. It’s not my reviews that kill blogs, it’s their reviews of me that kill their blogs. And I doubt John Chow will be in too much of a hurry to review me, especially since I don’t plan on paying $500 for it.
On the other hand, I could still threaten to include him in my “Hot Blogs” list, which is really the only one of the seven ways that I have control over.
I know someone who’s blog went from Tecnorati authority 0 to 975 in just a few months. A month later, it dropped down to 17…hehe. People seem to forget that the links only last 180 days and then they have to participate in endless meme’s and link trains to temporarily pump it back up!
I know. I was at 160+ just a couple weeks ago, and, despite new incoming links, it keeps going down faster and faster. 147 yesterday. 144 today. It goes down faster than it ever went up!
I remember the time… a nasty divorce sort of took the wind out of my sails. Thanks for the link.
Ouch. I’m reasonably sure that wasn’t my fault!