Weird Stuff You Can Win on eBay IV
It’s time for another edition of “Weird Stuff You Can Win on eBay.” Let’s jump right in…
MUMMIES
There was a “rare” mummified cat and a dog that were available, but both listings are no longer available. Bummer. Guess you’ll have to settle for this Goth Rubber Duck which comes complete with a death certificate.
IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND
Buy yourself some flesh from an accidental gunshot wound. The guy needs money to start an art studio. Better send him some money. Perhaps he got wounded when someone else with too much money was shooting coins.
Flesh not your thing? How about a nice human hairball? [Oops! Too late. Bidding has ended!]
Human miscellanea still not your thing? You’d just rather have the money? Well, you can get started by buying this big empty bag of money.
PRINTING MEMORABILIA
I just include this printing memorabilia because I figured Pete might like it.
ANTHROPOMORPHIC FOODS
A Cheeto that looks like a Cheeto! Wow!
The Cross in my Pocket Potato.
Frito with a Verse Inscribed on It. Some sort of hallucinogenic drug apparently required to see it.
Outties aren’t just for hot babes anymore. They’re on apples too. Must be those enhancement drugs seeping into the water supply…
A flippin’ potato chip and one with a pontiff’s hat. And a coupon for a potato chip shaped like the continental U.S. Why don’t they just sell the chip itself? Too obscene or too religious for you? How about a potato chip bunny? Or the Great Maryland Potato Chip with a Bunny. Obviously a matter of great state pride. Or, maybe you’ll prefer the Official Ohio Chicken Nugget.
A dirty hard-boiled egg. R-rated, or not, depending upon your imagination.
Frosted Flake King Tut or a Great Corn Flake Hummingbird. Tough choice. Maybe you’ll want both and have a more complete collection?
An Apple with a Heart. Great for the Mac Fanatic in your life!
An onion ring peace sign and another not quite as good.
How about a Presidential Potato Profile of George Washington? Or try to solve the mystery of who killed the Peanut Kenny from South Park? Or maybe just settle for a peanut shaped like a duck or a Popcorn Dog.
How about a smiley face chocolate chip cookie? Or a chocolate chip cookie depicting the solar system before Pluto was kicked out of the planetary system.
Spicy pork rind depicting Jesus holding a lamb. Question: How much beer (or wine) must you consume to see it?
Finally, a living Mr. Potato Head.
ANTHROPOMORPHIC NON-FOODS
An Oyster Shell that Looks like a Human Ear! Freaky.
Not human, but we’ll shoehorn it into this category anyway… A driftwood dinosaur! Your kid will have hours of fun!
Stone Duck Rock Head. Okay, so that’s not human either.
And neither is this one… Quartz Crystal Shaped like a Bunny Head. Must be weird, wild wabbit week or something.
DESPERATION
Some people aren’t lucky enough to find George Washington in their bag of potatoes. Those poor, unfortunate souls have to resort to tactics like these…
A black fine point Sharpie! Pay more than retail! Wow!
But, if you like overpriced office supplies, how about this ordinary rubber band?
A defective saltine cracker. Okay. But, that’s just slightly less desperate than this Ritz Cracker shaped like the Sun. You know. Round. And, it’s almost indistinguishable from this last Ritz Cracker in the Box!
Down, down the pits of desperation we go, as we find this Skim Milk Carton that Looks Like a 2% Milk Carton, with a different color lid and a different label. Don’t let this one pass you by!
This one is both desperate and sad… A woman trying to save her house from foreclosure by selling tiny pieces of it.
Finally, you never know what you’ll get with this Yard Sale starter kit. Mind you, this might be quite an innovative way to unload junk you have around the house.
MODERN DAY SLAVERY
Fight for the rights of the unseen! This 19-year-old is auctioning off his 17-year-old friend. Child slavery! Maybe you ought to buy him and set him free. Be an abolitionist!
LUCK & SUPERSTITION
13 Lucky Cat Whiskers. But, is it from a black cat?
Genuine 4-Leaf Clover. If this one sells, I might just get into the 4-leaf clover business!
BIZARRE
Bring about the end of the human race by building your own humanoid Cylon army! Here’s the head you can start with.
You know the economy is in bad shape when people start selling their friends.
Here’s a pair of standing legs (not quite anatomically correct, except for Barbie’s ex-boyfriend Ken) for your Cylon army.
A giant 8″ poison centipede. Presumably, it’s dead. One hopes.
I think this sponge has an outtie. It’ll be a nice match for that apple you just bid on.
Nothing says “family fun” like this wrestling jelly. Because family picnics are always where you see this stuff. Not at seedy bars. Nope. Family fun.
Finally, if you buy any of these items, you’ll definitely want to buy this hand-painted sign to proclaim to the world how you came into possession of such oddities. Heck, just buy the sign. It’s self-explanatory.
Thanks man, I love that old printing stuff. I’m not sure of the use these drawers were intended for - was it holding the type?
All I know is that the smiley face cookie is dying for a lolcat. And the Jesus pork rind looks more like a middle finger.
I think those are type drawers. Not sure why the seller has them labeled for “jewelry” under Type. I guess you could refurbish them and keep your jewelry in them, especially if you have jewelry related to printing.
We are actually becoming quite the wrestling family.
My oldest just lettered in wrestling although he is a
freshman and new to the sport-
he’s also helping with a wrestling clinic and has
his little brothers learning how to wrestle.
Which leads me to believe that I might need to now buy wrestling jelly…
If only they made it edible- then I could keep the kids entertained in the summer and cut back on the high cost of feeding teenage boys and their friends who mooch too. If it was edible- I’d make it in a backyard kiddie pool, throw a gallon of peanut butter over it and about four loaves of cheap white bread on it and that would keep them busy for about an hour at least until I made dinner.
Thanks for the eBay post- I love these!
I’m just wondering what kind of school you’re sending your kids too if you think you may need some wrestling jelly so they can practice at home…
You could make it edible. Just use Jell-O!
Human hairballs? No way. With my long hair, I could make a killing selling those…
Sorry, but the human hairball didn’t sell.
Gee, hardly any of these are selling. Only the gunshot wound flesh and the Goth duck have bids.