Elect Me!
I’ve talked about it before, but now the effort has reached critical mass!
I have been pushed and encouraged to run for President. Pay no attention to the fact that I’ve planned my run for the presidency since high school. Nope, it is the will of the people, not personal ambition that has compelled me to make this run.
I have the experience you are looking for in a candidate. I once organized a Halloween party for three of my neighbors, so I have skills organizing communities. Sure, it was a complete flop, but no one died, so I count it as a success. I also once gave a hurried and nervous speech in front of a group of political activists. I am also a complete outsider to Washington D.C.
Okay. I do know a lobbyist, but he’s not given me any money, the cheap….
As your candidate for President of the United States of America, I present to you my platform:
- Increased wages (for me)
- Lower taxes (for me)
- Affordable health care (for me)
- Peace and prosperity (for me)
- Free postage for life (for me)
- And, above all, hope and change (for me)
You see, unlike the big name candidates, I’m honest about my agenda! With your vote, I can succeed! I can also succeed if you buy some stuff from me or through the affiliate offers mentioned on my blogs and websites. Money talks, so spend early and spend often.
You can watch the full report right here.
My opponent hasn’t even started his campaign, so, you know, don’t vote for him.
Haha, you’re too funny Dan. Don’t get me started with all this political stuff going on. I’ve been watching and now am sick to my stomach, lol. Both candidates have their strengths and weakness. If you say you’re a hockey dad, I just might vote for you.
The rest of your promises and qualifications look great!
Can I be a hockey dad without being a dad or watching hockey? Ooh, I have watched a hockey game, or parts thereof. Close enough?
I don’t know if it will help you, but I did give you the “I love your blog” award and the Blogging Friends Forever badge
Thank you. That reminds me, I think I’ve fallen behind in recognizing those who have given me awards lately…
So if I change my name to Dan C. Rinnert, I’m covered by your plan?
No. You see, there’s a handful of people that share my name. Those that aren’t me will be shipped off to Gitmo. Cut off the potential for fraud before it happens. And, anyone who expresses a desire to change their name will be put on a watch list…
What’s mine is mine and I plan on keeping it that way.
heck, I’ll change my name too!
And yeah, actually I would seriously consider someone who at least was honest about their agenda, even if it were you, Dan.
Even if it were me? That’s hardly a ringing endorsement. Plus, you’re one of those people, like Pete, that want to change their names to try to get my stuff. I think I’ll label you terrornyms. Yes, you and Pete are terrornyms. Today’s terrornymic threat level is orange. I’m watching you. Two eyes, two of you. You’re being watched.
I would be happy to vote for you, but already chose to run myself. My vice presidential candidate is a talking bra.
I thought you were just running for President of Hollydale.
Rolando is on the loose!!! Headline news in the blogosphere gazet ….
[...] announced my Presidential campaign the other day, it’s time to hit the virtual campaign [...]
OK, I finally decided to throw my hat in the ring:
http://boonedocks.net/mike/archives/173-Vote-for-Me!.html