How to Succeed in American Business Today
What’s the secret to succeeding in business today?
Is it producing a quality product or service that in some way betters someone’s lives?
Is it by offering products or services at competitive prices that save people money?
Is it by offering superior customer service and happily helping customers when they did assistance?
Is it by having clever marketing to build awareness of what you have to offer?
Nope. Forget all that bunk. That’s not how you can succeed in American business today.
No, today, all you need to succeed is, well, some money to throw around. Hike up your prices so you can make huge profits. Even if you don’t make huge profits, spend whatever you’ve got. Never mind the bills that aren’t do yet. The future will take care of itself. Suck money out of the company to build yourself a nice house and boat and whatever else you fancy. Throw lavish parties. Contribute huge amounts of money to politicians. Ignore the books. Fudge the numbers. Who cares? Spend! Spend! Spend! If your political buddies call to check in on your situation, lie like your pants are on fire! What are they going to do? Investigate you while you’re paying them big bucks? Get serious. Party like it’s 1999!
Then, when it all comes crashing down, call up your political buddies, beg them to take other people’s money to bail your sorry posterior out of the mess you created, while you get to keep all your gains… and your job.
Quality? Service? Price? Forget that 20th century thinking. To succeed in business today, all you need do is make political contributions and give plush jobs to politicians’ friends and families, and you got it made, buddy. You get to live the high life and your neighbor gets stuck with the bill. But, maybe you’ll help him out by paying him to clean your pool while you sit in the shade.
The larger the screw-up, the greater the rewards!
Hmm that’s sounds like a vaguely familiar scenario, now where have I heard this tale before. Hmmm Oh well I’m sure it will come to me, in one of my nightmares.
P.S. I like the new look, it is calmer less creepy
Thanks, but it was only temporary. What’s creepy about teal?
Hahaha…sounds like you have a plan Dan! May I borrow a huge stack of hundreds? I’d like to bribe my senator and get myself a back room deal!!!
Oh yeah, your blog looks great! The bright blue is much, much better!
I’ll give you a stack of hundreds. It’ll only be Monopoly money, though. And, actually it will be fake Monopoly money. Well, that would be copyright infringement, so it won’t be Monopoly money at all. It’ll just be a stack of little slips of paper that I’ve scrawled “$100″ on.
Thanks for the comments on the old new look for the blog. That was for my Presidential campaign. We’re back to teal again.
The big party was promised years ago!! The bank loans were government backed all along. Whenever this was attempted to be fixed … the dems called it a witch hunt.
Truth is stranger than fiction
Of course, they didn’t want to lose their campaign contributions and maybe some kickbacks too.
… I like the new look too
Here is a loan!
Thanks. I hope you like the new new look.
The blue is okay, but that avatar is still winking. I think he’s got something in his eye. And hey, I just remembered that you never did tell us what all that stuff was in a previous post so long ago. You had a picture of some pieces to a weird contraption, remember?
3.14159265358
That’s in response to a much older post.
Are you in the blue mood? It looks a little too dark to me.
This is one very truthful post I have even seem on your blog. No a way, no corporation are paying too much attention on quality and services. It’s all about made you pay first and suck your life later.
That’s how exactly the president in Taiwan get rich today.
Anyway, this one deserve a stumble!
Thanks for the stumble!
That was my patriotic theme. Now I’ve changed to a new one with a smaller header.
I saw a list of the biggest Fannie Mae lobby money recipients … THAT should be posted on every billboard, and scrolling on the bottom of the television debates!!!!!
huh? What’s pi got to do with anything? Now I’m all confused and I’ll probably forget that I posted this comment on this post. You need a subscribe to comments thingy.