You Are All That Whose Souls Have Brushed Your Own
It’s been real, but I must scream now.
That’s what a classmate wrote in one of my high school yearbooks. There’s something I remember from an episode of Doctor Who, “The Five Doctors,” where the Doctor said that “A man is the sum of his memories….” Is that true?
Evidently.
That was a common response of my sophomore year Composition teacher. Evidently. We all sort of picked up on that.
I see how you are.
That’s something I picked up from a co-worker many years ago.
We pick up these things from people we have known, and they slip into our own speech, sometimes without us realizing it. In that way, they become a part of who we are. We might also incorporate popular lines from TV shows or movies. Many of us probably recognize Hasta la vista, baby! But sometimes we, or our friends, will change such lines into something else that may not be as recognizable to others.
For example, in neighborhood football, the start of the play would be initiated with numbers being called out followed by “hut!” Of course, sometimes you’d want to throw the other team off guard, so you’d do something like: “Twenty-five. Thirty-four. Fourteen. HUD scandal!”
That was probably just us. But you can see how things around you help make you who you are today. And, those things I’ve described are more or less neutral in nature. They aren’t good or bad; they’re just what they are. They’re just little quirks or things that have worked their way into being part of your being.
Of perhaps more impact are those things that were positive or negative influences in your life.
You may have positive memories, like family get-togethers or playing with your friends. Maybe a favorite stuffed animal or a book. Maybe going fishing with your grandfather or working with your dad.
And, you may have negative memories as well. Maybe you were spat upon. Or maybe you were in situations where you knew the people around you didn’t really want you around. Or maybe there were minor misunderstandings that turned into major disasters.
At any rate, all of the people you have encountered and all of the things you have experienced have gone into making you who you are today. On top of that, throw in your genetic differences, and there’s no one exactly like you. You really are special and unique.
So, don’t fall victim to the herd mentality. Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by the hive mind. Be yourself. Think for yourself. Take responsibility for yourself. You are bits and pieces of all those you have encountered; you are the sum of your experiences and memories; but, most of all, you are you.
I have a bit of a different approach. Though I’m sum of experience and memory, I define myself as who I’m becoming - or I’m becoming who I am…constantly. I think many people reach a certain age and they’ve decided, “This is who I am. I believe this and that and I’m good with it all. I just want to live my life.”
I like the Zen axiom, “Nothing exists, all things are becoming.” I believe in perpetual growth and questioning everything. I will never be a master of anything because there is no such thing. Once you proclaim mastery, you know it all; thus, I will always be an inquisitive, empty mind; reflective, open and willing to change and learn. This is a thought provoking post Dan, I really enjoyed it
I was raised by monkeys! Never new blogs existed until last year.
I think this could be a good thing especially if you took the best traits of those that have had a positive influence in your life. The rest will have to come from a good upbringing and positive role models.
My brother, for example taught me a lot about life and being cool in high school. I took what he taught me and then recreated myself. I repeated the same process for other mentors in my life.
Ummmm soul brushing is tasty. I mean soul food!
I am the sum of five kids getting on my last nerve.
Oh how cute and so insightful. I’m okay you’re okay we’re all okay.
LOL @ comments. You are right, Dan. We should each bask in our own uniqueness. Unfortunately everyone also shares a desire to belong and sometimes will go against their own grain to do that. I think that is okay in some ways so long as we remember who we are and where we stand on things that are really important to us. I fear herd mentality. It scares the crap out of me the things that could happen because of it or mass hysteria. Yikes.
“We might also incorporate popular lines from TV shows or movies.”
I do that all the time. I am forever quoting Seinfeld & Scrubs. (and Chelsea Handler)
I think we also need to remember that we are not victims of our pasts either, and our pasts don’t necessarily have to affect how we act today. Good memories are just that, but we should allow ourselves to keep the parts we like and discard the ones we don’t. To think for myself, to take responsibility for myself, requires me to always be fully present in the moment.
People have always told me I’m “special.” I’m still not sure if they’re serious or if its a big, inside joke.