Digging Through the Archives… Top 10 Ways…
I was digging through my old writing projects, and found these that I had done way back in 1996. They were “syndicated” in that I had a little info box allowing people to re-publish the lists as long as they included my copyright notice and contact info. I wonder if that makes me an early Internet marketer? Ha!
Anyway, I don’t know if anyone actually distributed them. They’re not my best work, but here they are for your amusement.
Top Ten Ways a Computer is Better Than a Girlfriend/Wife
10. Doesn’t nag.
9. Always faithful.
8. Sound volume can be turned down or off.
7. Never complains of a headache.
6. Never asks to be taken to dinner, the movies, dancing, etc.
5. Doesn’t get mad if you just want to hang out with the guys.
4. If you do something wrong, it’s much easier to figure out what it was.
3. Doesn’t reveal your personal life and problems to all its friends.
2. Doesn’t get upset when you upgrade to the newest model.
1. Has a shutdown feature
Copyright 1996 by Dan C. Rinnert.
Top Ten Ways a Computer is Just Like a Boyfriend/Husband
10. Never brings home flowers.
9. Seems to have little ambition, just sits in the same spot day after day…
8. Needs to be turned on before it will do anything for you.
7. Is quite content when you push all the right buttons, but beeps agitatedly when you push the wrong ones.
6. Never does a good job with windows.
5. Can take years to figure out how to get it to do what you want done.
4. Shares its feelings just as frequently.
3. Won’t empty the trash without being told to do so.
2. If something goes wrong, it’s always considered your fault.
1. Won’t stop and ask for directions either.
Copyright 1996 by Dan C. Rinnert.
Anyway, I think maybe I’ll post a few more of my older writings. Let you derive whatever enjoyment you might get from them. Sure beats having them sitting around hidden away on my hard drive not being read by anyone.
Not too pre-millennium. Still rather relevant.
Maybe you’re a future-seeing gypsy.
Or maybe we haven’t advanced as far as we expected!
“6. Never does a good job with windows.”
Thats great
I haven’t done it yet, but I have a whole bunch of college essays and assignments that I was thinking about posting on one of my blogs. Mostly because, like you said, it beats having them simply sitting around taking up space and I can’t imagine using them for anything else. I know I have at least two 5 page essays, perhaps a five part series on wireless security is in order…
Thanks!
You could do an eBook too. Maybe update the info and trying selling it. Then again, sometimes it might be best to put up what you have and move on to other things!
“it might be best to put up what you have and move on to other things!”
Yeah, thats kind of what I was thinking. I would say they are well written and contain relevant info, but it would take a good deal of work before it was at a level where I wouldn’t feel bad selling it to people…
I like # 6 & #8 of the boyfriend/husband part.
What you wrote more than 10 years back are still very relevant in today’s context.
I guess computer technologies haven’t change as much as we thought.
Nope. I’m still waiting for our flying cars too. LOL!
You are a very talented writer. I’m commenting backwards here as I’ve already read the two posts you have put up since this one but I thought they were worth telling you again. As a matter of fact, I think I may just go and do a little stumble. Hope you don’t mind.
Very very funny. Especially this one - If you do something wrong, it’s much easier to figure out what it was. lol .And this one is also good - Has a shutdown feature. lol. You can shut down it whenever you want.
Till