One of my most popular posts, especially in recent days, is “The Long-Tail Search, or How Not to Be Such a Guy.” I suspect that maybe Sean McAlister of Social Media Smack Talk is perhaps visiting it multiple times per day. (It seems he likes using near-porn images and trying to make some social marketing lesson out of it.) But, that’s just a wild guess.

Anyway, as I mentioned in that post, SEO really is a lot like dating. You can put together a great site, fill it with lots of great information, and still end up getting beat out in the search engines by some sloppily made website, written in something akin to gibberish. It’s kind of like the women who say they want to date a “nice guy” but then turn around and laugh at them and end up dating the guy whose knuckles dangle precariously close to the floor.

Fortunately, online, you can be a Raybert! (Or Cyrano de Bergerac for you older folks.) Do you remember the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Robert was able to (finally) get a girl, all because she thought he was Raymond? Of course, it didn’t work out once she found out what was going on, but, if you’re sneaky, you might just be able to get away with it online.

You see, you can put together your great, wonderful site. We’ll call this “Mr. Nice Site.” And, then you can put together another site, which we’ll call “Hairy Knuckles Site.”

Life will be like normal. You’ll have Mr. Nice Site up and running, and all the girls (i.e., the search engines) will tell you they like nice guys and how great you are and you’re the kind of guy that’s at the top of their list and all that jazz.

Except, of course, when you pop in for a visit (i.e., search the search engines), it’s not you they’re hanging out with, but it’s a bunch of neanderthals vying for her affections (i.e., the #1 spot).

And, that’s where Hairy Knuckles Site comes in. You set up (using a different web host, IP, domain name registrar, etc.) a crummy site. Load it up with keywords. Make it unreadable to the human mind. Etc. Etc. Make a junk site, just like those neanderthals you see.

Then, you have the ads and links on it pointing to Mr. Nice Site. Just make sure Mr. Nice Site doesn’t point back to the Hairy Knuckles site!

So, then, when someone pays “your” girl a visit (i.e., goes to search the web), whether she’s got Hairy Knuckles Site over her place (i.e., on page one) or Mr. Nice Site over (yeah, right!), you’re covered, because all links lead back to Mr. Nice Site!

Oh, the evils that women (i.e., the search engines) force men to commit!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 14th, 2009 at 4:10 pm and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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