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Archive for January, 2009

SEO is Like Dating, and You Can Get Smacked If Your Date Doesn’t Like You

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

One of my most popular posts, especially in recent days, is “The Long-Tail Search, or How Not to Be Such a Guy.” I suspect that maybe Sean McAlister of Social Media Smack Talk is perhaps visiting it multiple times per day. (It seems he likes using near-porn images and trying to make some social marketing lesson out of it.) But, that’s just a wild guess.

Anyway, as I mentioned in that post, SEO really is a lot like dating. You can put together a great site, fill it with lots of great information, and still end up getting beat out in the search engines by some sloppily made website, written in something akin to gibberish. It’s kind of like the women who say they want to date a “nice guy” but then turn around and laugh at them and end up dating the guy whose knuckles dangle precariously close to the floor.

Fortunately, online, you can be a Raybert! (Or Cyrano de Bergerac for you older folks.) Do you remember the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Robert was able to (finally) get a girl, all because she thought he was Raymond? Of course, it didn’t work out once she found out what was going on, but, if you’re sneaky, you might just be able to get away with it online.

You see, you can put together your great, wonderful site. We’ll call this “Mr. Nice Site.” And, then you can put together another site, which we’ll call “Hairy Knuckles Site.”

Life will be like normal. You’ll have Mr. Nice Site up and running, and all the girls (i.e., the search engines) will tell you they like nice guys and how great you are and you’re the kind of guy that’s at the top of their list and all that jazz.

Except, of course, when you pop in for a visit (i.e., search the search engines), it’s not you they’re hanging out with, but it’s a bunch of neanderthals vying for her affections (i.e., the #1 spot).

And, that’s where Hairy Knuckles Site comes in. You set up (using a different web host, IP, domain name registrar, etc.) a crummy site. Load it up with keywords. Make it unreadable to the human mind. Etc. Etc. Make a junk site, just like those neanderthals you see.

Then, you have the ads and links on it pointing to Mr. Nice Site. Just make sure Mr. Nice Site doesn’t point back to the Hairy Knuckles site!

So, then, when someone pays “your” girl a visit (i.e., goes to search the web), whether she’s got Hairy Knuckles Site over her place (i.e., on page one) or Mr. Nice Site over (yeah, right!), you’re covered, because all links lead back to Mr. Nice Site!

Oh, the evils that women (i.e., the search engines) force men to commit!

Crossing

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

More from my fiction archives. This one as per Speedy’s request…

“Crossing”
by Dan C. Rinnert

From the relative security of the grassy mound, she watched the beast stagger down the smooth-worn path. She figured she could safely cross in front of it, unless it sped up, which these excitable creatures were prone to do. Better to wait, she thought. Birds of her size, easily overlooked by the lumbering giants, frequently became meals for the vultures and rats who would brave the traveling herds for fresh and tenderized flesh.

She watched as the animal crossed in front of her, its gray hide crackling and flaking from age. The bird poked her head out of the thin brush for a better look, but the ancient beast did not return her stare as it plodded along.

After the old creature had passed beyond a small hill, the bird inched toward the path, stepping carefully, and looking nervously about. She sensed something and paused. She sniffed the air and looked around. She could see nothing to her right, and the hill blocked the left side. She glanced down at her feet, as she felt a vibration through the ground. A herd! she realized, and ducked back into the brush.

She began to hear the roar of the pack as it drew closer. The sound grew louder and louder, until the first beast reached the crest of the hill and entered her sight, followed by many more. The bird recognized them as a younger lot.

A large black beast led the pack, followed by smaller animals with hides of purple or red. Amongst these puttered slightly smaller creatures with skins of orange or yellow.

They all looked similar, so she guessed the smaller ones were either women or children. She could see none that looked like babies, but perhaps they remained behind in nests.

The herd passed just as quickly as it had come. The path stood empty. The bird stepped cautiously across. She looked to either side, and studied the ground carefully with the soft-bottoms of her feet. No sound, no vibration and nothing in sight. She continued across.

Zoom! A thin animal, with a hide of yellow and black, zipped passed her at an incredible pace. The bird paused, questioning whether to continue or turn back. She opted to keep going and, disregarding her instinctual caution, scurried across the rest of the way as quickly as her feet could take her.

She reached the opposite side, and looked around for the treasure she sought. Damn! she thought. Never falls in the same place twice! Most days, she did not even need to cross the path to reach it. It could usually be found in the brush, or the plain, or sometimes the bushes on her side.

Her sharp eye caught a glimpse of its shiny blue surface. She scampered over to a rolled bunch of leaves wrapped in a semi-transparent, glossy blue husk. It meant nothing to her, but her master would give her a treat for bringing it to him. She grabbed it with her beak behind a small bulb at the end, and carried it back to the edge of the path.

She looked both ways, concentrated on her feet and, hearing no sound and sensing no vibration, darted across. Just as she reached her knoll, a lumbering monster rolled past, barely missing her. Surprised, she dropped the bundle. She turned and gave the monster a few disapproving squawks as it continued on. Once it reached a safe distance, she retrieved the husk and dragged it across the plain.

At the plain’s edge, she hopped up a few planks, struggling with the weight of the bundle. She skipped across the wooden floor, and proudly placed the treasure at her master’s feet.

He gently patted her head, and dropped some corn kernels to the ground.

She quickly gobbled them up. She heard him speak to the other ape creatures sitting around him. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was pleased, even though she didn’t understand the words: “And, that, my friends, is why the genetically-enhanced chicken crossed the road!”

“Crossing” by Dan C. Rinnert. Copyright 2005. All rights reserved.

Faded Dreams of Photos in the Sun

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

More digging through the archives… This one is a short story I wrote in 2004. I had a couple different endings, but I was never really happy with any of them. This particular ending is perhaps the best of them. This is pretty much why I don’t do romantic stories. And, be warned there is a “steamy” scene in here, so, if that may be offensive to you, you might want to skip that part or this story.

Other than that, enjoy!

“Faded Dreams of Photos in the Sun”
Copyright 2004 by Dan C. Rinnert. All rights reserved.

The bright sunlight filled the room, a beam illuminating the scrapbook. Relaxing on her couch, Kelly relived old memories, eagerly anticipating the upcoming reunion. As she turned a page, a loose photo slipped and fell face-down on the floor. She picked it up and flipped it over.

Robert.

With a bright blue baseball cap worn backwards and a sleeveless tie-dye shirt, Robert looked back at her with a goofy grin, flashing the peace symbol like a rebel peacenik caught in a police line-up.

Kelly had forgotten she had that one still in there.

Her perfect man. Not just handsome and athletic, but kind and caring too. Kelly remembered the time Robert gave his letter jacket to a homeless man on a cold evening. Countless hours of practice earned him those letters, but it mattered little to him. “Symbols,” he told her. “I have my accomplishments whether I have the jacket or not.”

Not content simply with athletics, Robert had also worked on the school journal. The consummate photographer, he had taken many of the photos that filled the scrapbook.

Love at first sight? Kelly felt it, but Robert never gave any hint of reciprocation. They became friends instead, but as Kelly got to know him better, the stronger her feelings developed.

Kelly sighed, and turned the page.

Sun beams dancing on happy faces and the warm sand tickling their toes. Kelly fondly remembered that day at the beach. She wore her hot pink bikini top and neon blue bottoms, and Rachel wore her neon blue bikini top and hot pink bottoms. With sun-bleached highlights in their brunette hair, worn just tickling the shoulders, they attracted the welcome attention of many young men. They posed like models, showing off their equally curvacious and toned bodies, giggling with satisfaction as men oggled them.

Kelly enjoyed those moments, but she did not desire the attention of all those men, just one in particular.

Robert also spent the day at the beach, taking pictures for a photography project. Kelly had long been dropping hints to Robert as to how she felt–hints she was sure he must have noticed. Hoping to seduce him with her shapely figure, she angled for him to photograph her. Instead, intrigued by their contrasting bikinis, Robert asked her and Rachel to pose together.

That evening, once Rachel had left with a man she met, Kelly approached Robert, determined to ask him to a romantic dinner. Instead, she learned he was packing his bags for a new job on the other side of the country.

Was it something she had said?

Kelly was devastated, but not so devastated as when she learned the truth three years later. That was something she was not sure she could forgive him for.

Seven years past, and it still upset her. Kelly found it difficult to trust other men, and still compared each new one to Robert–still her perfect man, despite–

Her blue eyes welled with a sadness she had not felt in some time. Even now, she found herself longing for Robert. She gently placed the photo in front of her scrapbook. She pressed her fingers to her lips, and then to Robert’s lips. Opening the scrapbook had been a mistake, and now Kelly felt attending the reunion, just days away, may be a mistake as well. She closed the book and placed it back on the shelf.

She turned and noticed the sun beams on her tan carpet. The bright light and the gentle breeze coming through the open window reminded her of that day on the beach. She stopped to relish the moment, going so far as to wonder if that bikini would still fit.

The memory was interrupted by the harsh sound of the doorbell. Kelly headed for the door and looked through the peephole.

Robert!

She couldn’t believe Robert was at her door. She opened it. Indeed, it was Robert, and he still looked as good as she remembered.

And, she looked as good as he remembered. He bet that her hot pink and neon blue bikini would still fit her just fine.

“Robert?”

“I came back in town for the reunion, and I–” Robert paused. Though he had practiced his speech a thousand times, face to face with her, his mind drew a blank. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” came his reply.

Kelly invited him in, and led him to the other room. They sat on the couch.

Robert said, “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Kelly looked away.

“I was… afraid.”

Kelly looked at Robert. “Afraid?”

“I shouldn’t have said I was moving across the country,” he said. “It was the first thing that came to me, and there was no easy way out of it.”

“What were you afraid of?” she asked.

“I didn’t feel the same, not the same for you as you did for me,” Robert said, reaching for her hand. “But, I was wrong.”

She took his hand, and smiled as she looked into his eyes. This was the moment she had dreamed of for so many years, and now, here he was, and she nearly felt compelled to pinch herself.

“I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

Kelly said softly, “It’s alright now.”

“I have feelings for you too,” he said. “I do love you.”

“I love you too, Robert,” she replied.

Robert leaned over toward her, slowly. Kelly did not turn away, and tilted her head back, and let Robert kiss her. The kiss. The kiss she had been longing for, and it was everything she had hoped it would be. Before she knew it, she found herself with Robert in her bedroom.

Robert took off his shirt, revealing his muscular chest. Kelly put her hands on him and felt the softness of his warm skin.

She had been saving herself for her future husband, but with Robert she could no longer maintain her resistance. She reasoned with herself that he was to be her future husband, and she gave in. She began to unbutton her blouse, then took Robert’s hands to the next button. He recognized her silent request, and slowly, sensually removed her clothing. He laid her gently on the bed, removed the rest of his clothing, and joined her.

Kelly lost track of time as they made love. Every motion, every caress, every passionate kiss was exactly as she had hoped. When it was all over, Robert continued to hold her close.

“I want to show you something,” she said after a while, remembering the photo she had just before Robert had shown up. She sat up in bed, and wrapped herself in the bedsheet. Turning to Robert, she smiled at him. “I’ll be right back.”

Robert smiled back as he looked into her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. He kissed his fingers, and gently pressed them against Kelly’s lips. He closed his scrapbook and put it back on his shelf.

He stared at the book for a moment, and sighed.

“You ready to go?”

Startled, Robert turned around. “Yeah, um–”

His wife smiled at him, knowing she had caught him in the middle of something. “What were you doing?”

Robert looked at his wife and the mother of his two children. She was nothing like those girls he had photographed on the beach so long ago. Big-boned, she liked to call herself, but he could not help but think of her as fat.

He saw his letter jacket folded in her plump arms. If only he were the man in his dreams, he thought to himself, and if only she was–

Enough! Robert thought to himself. “Let’s skip the reunion,” he said.

“Something wrong?”

“Let’s not relive the past,” he told her. “We should make new memories–why don’t we take the kids to the beach instead?”

“You sure?”

Robert walked up to his wife and embraced her. “You’re everything I ever wanted,” he whispered in her ear. Then, he kissed her passionately. “I love you, Rachel.”

“Faded Dreams of Photos in the Sun”
Copyright 2004 by Dan C. Rinnert. All rights reserved.

Digging Through the Archives… Top 10 Ways…

Monday, January 12th, 2009

I was digging through my old writing projects, and found these that I had done way back in 1996. They were “syndicated” in that I had a little info box allowing people to re-publish the lists as long as they included my copyright notice and contact info. I wonder if that makes me an early Internet marketer? Ha!

Anyway, I don’t know if anyone actually distributed them. They’re not my best work, but here they are for your amusement.

 

Top Ten Ways a Computer is Better Than a Girlfriend/Wife

10. Doesn’t nag.

9. Always faithful.

8. Sound volume can be turned down or off.

7. Never complains of a headache.

6. Never asks to be taken to dinner, the movies, dancing, etc.

5. Doesn’t get mad if you just want to hang out with the guys.

4. If you do something wrong, it’s much easier to figure out what it was.

3. Doesn’t reveal your personal life and problems to all its friends.

2. Doesn’t get upset when you upgrade to the newest model.

1. Has a shutdown feature

Copyright 1996 by Dan C. Rinnert.

 

Top Ten Ways a Computer is Just Like a Boyfriend/Husband

10. Never brings home flowers.

9. Seems to have little ambition, just sits in the same spot day after day…

8. Needs to be turned on before it will do anything for you.

7. Is quite content when you push all the right buttons, but beeps agitatedly when you push the wrong ones.

6. Never does a good job with windows.

5. Can take years to figure out how to get it to do what you want done.

4. Shares its feelings just as frequently.

3. Won’t empty the trash without being told to do so.

2. If something goes wrong, it’s always considered your fault.

1. Won’t stop and ask for directions either.

Copyright 1996 by Dan C. Rinnert.

 

Anyway, I think maybe I’ll post a few more of my older writings. Let you derive whatever enjoyment you might get from them. Sure beats having them sitting around hidden away on my hard drive not being read by anyone.

Let’s Poison the Children! (Not!)

Monday, January 12th, 2009

You know, one of the stupidest things I’ve heard said about people opposed to CPSIA is that they apparently want to be able to sell lead-tainted products to children.

That’s patently absurd. Bear in mind that the businesses responsible for the major lead scares of 2007 and 2008 were not small & home businesses in the U.S. but the large corporations who outsourced their manufacturing to China. Some of the small & home businesses (who are the ones protesting CPSIA) in fact started as a result of wanting to give parents and children a safer option to mass-produced toys that came from who knows where.

Many of these entrepreneurs looked for materials that would be safe for children. They looked for all-natural and organic materials. They looked for lead-free paints and dyes. They did those things. Many started by making toys and clothes for their own children, and then started selling. So, of course, many of these people had no intention of selling to anyone else anything that they wouldn’t use for their own kids.

These people aren’t Superman villains bent on poisoning the nation’s children through a nefarious plan of hand-crafting seven toys a week!

Here’s something to understand about lead. Lead is an element, represented by the symbol Pb. It’s not like steel, which is an alloy. To make steel, you have to have iron (Fe) and carbon (C). So, with steel, you could take two items that don’t contain steel, and end up making an item that would be considered steel, or would have steel parts. Never mind how realistic that is; just pay attention to the thought. Okay, so two products that don’t contain steel could be mixed and produce an end result of steel.

Now, you cannot do that with lead. An item without lead combined with another item without lead cannot produce lead. You cannot get lead out of something that doesn’t have lead. You can have a chemical compound that includes lead from which lead may be extracted, but you cannot combine chemicals to create lead, because, again, lead is an element.

So, if a toy or dress maker takes fabric that does not contain lead, dyes it with pigments that do not contain lead, sews it with thread that does not contain lead, using a needle that does not contain lead, then it is physically impossible for the end product to contain lead.

However, CPSIA requires that the resulting product be tested for lead and there are people that cheer for this testing. But, such testing is wasteful because there is no way for lead to magically appear.

Additionally, it makes no sense to test different products all made using the same lead-free components simply because they are different. Lead will not magically appear in one product just because it’s a different size or shape.

So, how about this? (And, this is just a thought and I have not researched the feasibility so, for any Congressmen reading, don’t immediately vote this into law before some discussion and research has been done. That’s how you screwed up with CPSIA. Hopefully you can learn from your mistakes. If not, please stop eating lead paint chips!) But, how about any product containing lead be labeled as such? Regardless of whether it’s marketed to kids or adults, if it contains lead, it must be labeled as such. Most products already have labels or markings, so shouldn’t be a big problem to add “contains lead” if the product contains lead. If it contains compounds containing lead, it needs to be marked “contains lead.” If it is dyed with colorings that contain lead, the product must be marked “contains lead.”

When anything is made of those products, it too must be marked as “contains lead.”

When a small or home business goes to buy supplies, anything containing lead will be marked as such. So, they will know not to purchase those supplies that contain lead if they are creating products made for children. Then, they just need to make note of the products they used. If the CPSC comes knocking at their door saying their product contains lead, the business owner can identify the source of the materials and the CPSC can move up the food chain until they find the company that was selling lead-containing products and not identifying them as such.

Now, assuming a business has gone through the precaution of making sure all the supplies they buy do not contain lead, they can market their product as lead-free. If there are any penalties, such penalties and fines should be against source companies selling lead-containing products without identifying them as “contains lead.”

This also resolves the problem of small and home businesses that may purchase supplies that are not required to be tested under CPSIA. For example, a manufacturer may make fabrics and, if they are not designed for or intended to be used by children, they do not have to test those fabrics and are unlikely to do so because of the added expense. And, the fabric may come from different lots and so on, and that just makes it more difficult and expensive for the small or home business to afford all the testing they are required to do if they are using that fabric to create products intended for use by children.

The additional benefit of this would be making adults better informed about the products they buy. Lead may be most harmful to children, but it can affect adults as well.

Of course, if certain companies want to voluntarily send their products out for third-party testing, then they would be able to sell their products as “certified lead-free.” Of course, you might argue that’s unfair to the companies that cannot afford testing, but I submit it’s better to compete as “lead-free” vs. “certified lead-free” rather than “lead-free” vs. “hazardous waste” as the current CPSIA legislation would do.

This would mean that small and home business owners would still have to do their due diligence (which most have done to begin with) to be sure they are using lead-free supplies to create lead-free children’s products. But, it would be less costly, more efficient, and may actually make products safer by highlighting products and supplies that they may not have knew contained lead.

And the CPSC could do random testing of products at points where lead may be more likely to be slipped in, whether accidentally or intentionally, to make sure that they are playing along. And testing requirements could be required when importing from countries that don’t have good track records and random testing could be done on imports from countries with equal or more stringent safety requirements just as an extra check.

Because, you know, I would bet with near 100% certainty that there are not any small and home businesses stock-piling lead so they can sneak them into children’s products to poison them. If any lead is getting through, it is because it was in supplies they weren’t aware of.

If we really want to protect children, it is best to do it in a way that gets people working together rather than squaring them off against one another. Let’s identify problem areas and correct them sensibly. Instead of putting a huge financial burden on those they are trying to do the right things, or forcing them out of business with threats or risks of huge penalties and fines, let’s simplify things. Let’s educate people on what contains lead, so that such products can be avoided if necessary. Let’s educate people on the true risks; let’s not work people up into a hysteria over lead, especially when it may be present in places unlikely to do harm.

And, if we are to spend more money on preventing childhood lead poisoning, why not spend it in areas where children stand a greater risk of lead poisoning, such as by helping families in older homes and buildings remove old lead paint or help do what can be done to clean up soil around older buildings where lead may be present?

Oh, and ditto for the phthalates. ;-)

The best thing is for Congress to repeal CPSIA and try again. And this time, they should actually listen to people outside their Washington D.C. circle of “experts” and lobbyists, etc. And actually have real public feedback. (You can’t really say you’ve had public feedback if the public didn’t know about it and it’s fairly obvious in this case that the public and those affected were largely unaware of it.)

Anyway, that’s just my latest brainstorming session. Feel free to kick it around or tear it apart or make it better in the comments!

The Minister’s Blunder

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

Well, being that it’s Sunday and combining that with the fact that I haven’t come up with anything of my own to write this day, I’ll instead share with you this story from Mark Twain. Enjoy!

Now, you know, there are anecdotes and anecdotes, short metre and long metre. I shall give you a long metre one, with a snapper at the end. It is about a Scotch-Irish minister who thought he was called to preach the Gospel, while he knew that he had the gift of oratory, and he never missed an opportunity to display it. An opportunity was afforded on the occasion of a christening. There was a considerable audience, made up of relatives, friends and neighbors of the parents. The preacher began by saying:

“We have met together, my friends, on a very interesting occasion—the christening of this little child—but I see already a look of disappointment on your faces. Is it because this infant is so small? We must bear in mind that this globe upon which we live is made up of small things, infinitesimal objects, we might say. Little drops of water make the mighty ocean; the mountains which read their hoary heads toward Heaven and are often lost in the clouds are made up of little grains of sand. Besides, my friends, we must take into consideration the possibilities in the life of this little speck of humanity. He may become a great preacher, multitudes may be swayed by his eloquence and brought to see and believe in the truths of the Gospel. He may become a distinguished physician, and his fame as a healer of men may reach the uttermost ends of the earth, and his name go down to posterity as one of the great benefactors of his kind. He may become a great astronomer, and may read the heavens as an open book. He may discover new stars which may be coupled with those of Newton and many other great discoverers. He may become a distinguished statesman and orator, and by the strength of his intellect and eloquence he may control the destinies of nations, and his name be engraved upon monuments erected to perpetuate his memory by his admiring and grateful countrymen. He may become an author and a poet, and his name may yet appear among those now entombed at Westminster. He may become a great warrior and lead armies to battle and victory; his prowess and valor may change the map of Europe. Methinks I hear the plaudits of the people at the mention of his deeds and name. He may become—er—er—he might—er—” turning to the mother, “What is his name?”

The mother, very much bewildered: “What is the baby’s name?”

“Yes, what is his name?”

The mother: “Its name is Mary Ann.”

Not that a woman couldn’t do those things, of course!

Congress Wants You to Spend Less Time with Your Kids

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

Under the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act, which was signed into law last year, products for children under the age of 13 will need to be tested for lead (and for phthalates in products for kids 3 and under). This all came about after cheap toys imported from China were found to contain lead, which was, by the way, in violation of then-existing laws.

Bear in mind that, in the United States, lead poisoning is not as common anymore as it has already largely been removed from products where it is not necessary. It was once pretty widely used before its effects on health were understood. Around 40 years ago, lead was banned from products and in industries that had dangerous levels of it. Existing laws already covered the use of lead in products.

These days, the most common cause of lead exposure in children is exposure to lead paint, or playing in or on the grounds of older buildings where lead paint or other lead products may have been used. Cases of lead poisoning in children often occur among families living in houses built in the 1950’s or earlier, where lead paint may still be present. Most childhood victims of lead poisoning are between the ages of 1 and 4.

Lead poisoning occurs when lead is inhaled or ingested. Lead particles may be present on the grounds of old buildings, and can still be present even if the building is no longer there. Lead dust could be stirred up when children are playing outside. Also, paint chips may be eaten by small children that and lead may be ingested that way.

So, as children grow older, they generally learn not to lick and taste everything, which is why lead poisoning becomes less common as children grow older.

But, still the new law is designed to, supposedly, protect children under the age of 13. A lot of people get wrapped up in the “let’s protect the children” hysteria, and historically we know well that politicians and despots will use the “protect the children” mantra with the intent to control the adult population and not out of any real concern for children, and people fall under the politician’s spell that to oppose such legislation is to have a total disregard for the health and safety of children.

Any person who examines the CPSIA legislation with a rational mind can see that that’s simply not the case.

So, let’s examine why it is children under the age of 13 that are being “protected” here. Why aren’t they limiting it to products designed for children under the age of 5, where most cases occur?

For years, there have been people arguing that the government is trying to destroy families. Often, such individuals are regarding as nut cases, and will often be portrayed that way in fictional media (television entertainment programs) as well as in non-fictional media (television news and newspapers). But, here we can see some potentially devastating effects on families by examining who will be hurt most by the CPSIA requirements.

Large manufacturers will have no problem adjusting to the new requirements. They produce product in bulk and are much more able to pass the costs along to consumers. It is small businesses, start-up businesses, home businesses and individuals who will suffer the most under the CPSIA requirements. They are the least able to absorb the costs and pass them along to consumers. They produce products in much smaller quantities and, thus, the per item cost can rise exponentially. For many of these businesses and entrepreneurs, the cost of testing may far exceed the cost of production. And, not being able to pass the costs along to consumers (who would pay $100 for something that previously sold for $5?), they will simply fold.

Even if exemptions are made for small volume producers, such exemptions will be essentially meaningless, as how can they expect to compete in the marketplace against high volume manufacturers that will be able to mark their products as “certified safe” or “certified lead-free” or some such thing? A lot of the untested products will in reality be safe but, because they are not tested, they will be considered hazardous. As such, it will be illegal to sell them so businesses that cannot afford the testing will likely close.

Of course, some people may be of the opinion that getting untested products out of the marketplace might be a good thing. However, many products aren’t likely to even contain lead, yet would still have to be tested. Products made of components already tested for lead would need to be tested once again. Some manufacturers may produce raw materials, such as fabric, that may not be subject to testing and would be unwilling to incur the added expense of testing, so the burden of testing would once again fall on the small manufacturer.

Even there, some people may be mislead by the term “manufacturer,” thinking it as some entity running a plant somewhere producing products, but that is not the case. Anyone, including individuals, that creates an end-product for use by consumers is classified as a manufacturer. Grandmothers who knit scarves and mittens for sale at church bazaars are manufacturers.

Families that may rely the supplemental income from creating children’s clothing and toys for sale on Etsy, eBay, and other sites, as well as local flea markets and other venues, will have that income effectively taken away from them. Persons that run small businesses catering to children’s markets will be out of work and may need to file for bankruptcy and unemployment benefits. Any employees they may have had will be looking for work as well.

So, in order to “protect” children, Congress will be forcing many children across the nation to suffer because their already struggling parents will end up in even worse shape. Not only will they be out of work, but the places they may have relied on to purchase low priced goods for their children may be gone as well. These parents will have less money and, on top of that, the products they need will be more expensive.

Yet, it seems many Congressmen, and even the general public, remain unsympathetic. After all, they want to “protect” children from lead and what better way to protect children from lead than by forcing out of business the very businesses that weren’t found selling lead-tainted toys to children and rewarding (by reducing competition) those large businesses that were culpable? Already, some European toy companies, who produce toys that were already made to higher standards than is required in the United States, will be pulling out of the U.S. marketplace because they cannot afford the added costs of additional testing here.

Essentially, the very toy manufacturers that were responsible for the lead-tainted toys scares of the last couple years will get a tiny slap on the wrist, but then reap the reward of having less competition in the marketplace.

Even if you are not among the “lucky” manufacturers that will be forced out of business in February, you will still be affected. There will be fewer products available for children. You’ll have to rely more on mass-market goods and less on specialty goods. Less choice is never a good thing. It may result in higher prices as well.

Now, just think about all the niche markets that are out there, and how many of those might be gone because the businesses can’t afford the testing. Think of religious markets, for example. How many of them will be able to afford testing? What of specialty goods, things marketed toward families of specific cultures or ethnicities? For example, many Native American vendors will not be able to afford testing and they will not be able to sell children’s goods that are culturally important. Think about Amish made children’s furniture, toys and clothing. These could all be gone.

A lot of the focus of discussions and news have been home-made toys and clothing or thrift shops. Very little, if any, attention has been given to the numerous other industries that will be affected.

Do you read to your children at night? You may have fewer choices because books, too, will have to be tested. That may mean that some smaller children’s book publishers may close or reduce dramatically the number of titles they produce, which will also be bad news for children’s book authors. Libraries may even have to close their children’s books sections.

Do you have a family game night? Used toys that are untested will be banned, so many will be tossed rather than sold because the costs of testing will be too high.

Think about scouting for boys and girls. All those uniforms and badges they earn will need to be tested. Remember the pinewood derby? Hopefully you videotaped it, because those cars and parts will need to be tested as well. That’s not a mass-market item, so who knows if companies will be able to continue producing those kits?

Think about items produced for parents who home school? That’s a small market, and products designed for that market may be subject to testing because such products will be intended for use by children.

Do you rubber stamp, scrapbook or make crafts with your kids? A lot of those supplies are made by small manufacturers and they may not be able to afford the testing, so you might have to kiss scrapbook night goodbye. Granted, rubber stamping and toddlers are not a good combination and some stamps could pose a choking hazard, so you shouldn’t keep them within reach of small children anyway. But, remember that the CPSIA applies to all children under the age of 13. (I got my first rubber stamp when I was 10.)

So, fun stuff you do with your kids, kiss them goodbye.

But, wait, you say… Rubber stamps and crafting supplies are sold to adults; it’s their own business if they do crafts with their kids.

Unfortunately, the CPSIA covers any product intended for kids. Now, you can’t just mark your product as “for ages 13 and up.” That won’t do. If some CPSC bureaucrat decides that a rubber stamp with balloons, cute bears, stars or other images are intended for children, it’s intended for children and must be tested.

If a product is that is subject to such testing that makes it economically unfeasible to produce the product, it is effectively banned.

So, essentially, it will be okay to let your kid listen to a portable MP3 player. It’ll be okay to sit your kids in front of the television all day long. It’ll be okay to let them play with video games. It’ll be okay to let them play with mass-market toys. All those things will be produced by manufacturers who produce the items in such mass quantities that the cost of testing will be largely marginal and simply passed on to the consumer.

But, the smaller market items, the crafting supplies, the different things around which you, as the parent, may spend time doing with your children, those things may be effectively banned.

Earlier, I asked you why it was for kids under the age of 13. Are you beginning to see why? When kids start hitting their teen years, they naturally want to spend less and less time with their parents.

But, during those younger years, kids often enjoy playing games or doing crafts with their parents. It can help build lasting memories that they’ll remember into adulthood and want to repeat with their own children.

But, now, building those memories during the pre-teen years will become harder for parents, as the things that will certainly remain available, such as television and DVDs, are things that tend to keep families apart rather than bring them together. Many parents don’t agree with the values that are expressed in mass-market products, like some children’s books as an example, but, after the CPSIA, the smaller market products, the products that may be more in alignment with their values, may not be available anymore, simply because the cost of testing will be too high for small businesses to bear.

Is that the real intent of Congress here? To drive families apart? To effectively ban, without directly banning, those activities, such as rubber stamping, scrapbooking, crafting, etc., that bring young families together? To effectively ban, while perhaps skirting First Amendment issues, small market media that may give children “dangerous” ideas?

It is definitely something to think about…

Don’t Expect to Hear from Me by eMail for a While…

Friday, January 9th, 2009

Thunderfail strikes again!

Since I’ve not been able to find an acceptable alternative, I’ve been stuck using Thunderbird for eMail. Now, it’s mostly fine. There’s a few things I’d like to see in it, but, for the most part, it’s okay.

When it’s working, of course.

Once again, Thunderfail is unable to send out eMail.

No point even posting to their support forums, as all they’ll suggest is that I delete and re-install the blasted thing. Went through hoops last time trying to get the thing to send mail again, all to no avail.

No doubt, it’ll probably mysteriously return to being able to send out mail in a few days. Like it did last time.

Until then, don’t expect to hear from me by eMail!

I can receive mail, but I can’t send it. Argh!

Public Enemy #1

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

This rubber stamp may be America’s new Public Enemy #1 (among others).

I’m not really sure. I’m still trying to get a handle on the CPSIA thing. (Michelle?)

It kind of sounds like anything that is intended to be used by or even might possibly look to be used by a child under the age of 13 must undergo expensive testing for lead before it can go on the market.

Mind you, I don’t know of any cases of lead poisoning caused by rubber stamps. Then again, I haven’t heard of any cases of lead poisoning caused by second-hand clothes or hand-made toys or baby blankets knitted by loving grandmothers, but all these things could be considered hazardous materials come February 10th of this year.

Of course, what caused politicians to hurry this legislation through (it passed last year) was lead being found in cheap toys imported from, ahem, China. You know, the sensible thing to do would have been to address the problem by requiring that products imported from overseas meet the same requirements as domestically made goods. I am not aware of any major incidents of lead poisoning caused by American made products, are you?

But, you know the politicians, why solve a simple problem when you can create more problems instead?

Will I have to test rubber stamps? I don’t know. I’m trying to find out. And, testing isn’t cheap. The unicorn stamp, shown above, sells for $6.09. By some estimates of the costs of testing, if I were to pass along the costs to the consumer, I may have to sell that stamp for perhaps $166.09 (or more). No one is going to pay that much for a rubber stamp!

It’s frustrating. Read this post. It kind of summarizes what I’m feeling right now.

At any rate, I’ve got try to find something out, you know, pretty darn quick. If I have to have a close-out sale, I’m going to have to do it before February 10th, otherwise, I’ll be sitting on a bunch of inventory that will be considered hazardous goods (even though they may not have any lead in them, which they probably don’t).

As if the economy wasn’t bad enough, now this. Thanks a bunch, Congress!

Proposal for Restoring Political Sanity

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

There seems to be a never-ending barrage of dumb things that politicians do and mind-numbingly stupid laws they pass, or try to pass. It seems that every time you think they can’t possibly do anything worse, they come up with something new.

But, I think I have a solution. I’ve had it for a while, but I don’t think that I’ve ever blogged about it before.

Here’s what we need to do…

We get a cruise ship. Maybe even two or three; I’m not really sure how many people fit on those things. It’d be best if we could find one big one so everyone could be together on a single ship.

Now, we get all our elected officials together on the ship(s). We include appointed officials too. Basically, any politician that’s around, we get them on that boat. We’ll also get the political people that don’t serve in official government capacities; people like party chair people and campaign advisors. Public figures that speak on political issues, like TV and talk radio personalities, will go too. And, we’ll also include lobbyist and representatives of special interest groups. We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes those people are experts in their fields and really know what’s going on. Then, we get people like union bosses and heads of other important NGOs like that on board. Essentially, anyone that serves in some political capacity will be on that ship.

Yeah, it’s probably going to take more than one cruise ship.

Anyway, once we get them all together, we send them somewhere nice. We want them to be in a relaxed environment where they can really hash out the issues in a non-confrontational way. We want them to really discuss the issues, and really consider the impact any decisions they make will have on the country and businesses and families and individuals. That’s why we want all these people together in one place, so they can swap pros and cons of the different solutions they come up with.

Now, here’s the key… Once we have gathered all these people together and have sent them to some nice tropical part of the world to kickback and come up with solutions in a relatively stress-free environment, we never let any of these people back into the country!

Then, we hold new elections and try again. If we end up with the same result, we pack those people up on cruise ships and try again. And, maybe with that second round of elections, potential candidates will have wised up.

What do you think of my solution?