Safely Live the Galactic Lifestyle with Galactic Dew!

Have you been abducted by aliens? Are you worried about being abducted by aliens? Perhaps you should be. According to statistics I just made up, you are 85% more likely to be abducted by aliens than be involved in a plane crash. And, if you don’t fly, your odds of being abducted by aliens shoots up another 25%. Funny how that works, but the numbers don’t lie.

You need this!

You need Galactic Dew to keep yourself safe from aliens who would like to abduct you and probe your body with all sorts of things that will cause you extreme pain. On the plus side, they’ll wipe your memory, so you’ll only feel that pain during the abduction experience and forget soon after. Win some, lose some.

But, with Galactic Dew, you won’t have to worry! It is the choice of denizens throughout the galaxy to keep themselves and their children safe from those curious and troublesome Grays.

I went through a lot of trouble to get this for you. Earth is not part of intergalactic treaties, so Galactic Dew is not normally available for us earthlings, making us a prime target for the Grays. But, I came across a Centauri smuggler that was more than willing to sell me a few shuttle-fulls in exchange for some marbles and toast, which are apparently rare commodities elsewhere in the universe.

And now I am pleased to offer it to you on a subscription plan for only $149 per month. For under $5.00 a day, which is the typical cost of a fancy coffee, you can keep yourself safe from aliens. But, you must act now! Once word gets out, there will be great demand and quantities are already limited. Right now, you can lock in your price of $149 a month for a full year. Otherwise, I can see the price of this product going up to as much as $1349 per month! As I said, supplies are limited.

Galactic Dew comes with a full money-back guarantee. If you are abducted by aliens within 60 days of your purchase, we will issue you a full refund, minus shipping and handling charges of $89.50.

Contact me now to get in on this offer!

 

 

 

Mellow Yellow Monday and Mellow Yellow Monday

2 comments on “Safely Live the Galactic Lifestyle with Galactic Dew!
  1. HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Very nice young man … my post is about to go live, so watch out 😉

  2. DONE … good luck Dr Ubenscuppers

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *