You want fries with that?

It’s Fryday, you know. So, you should have fries with that.

But what is that? That is the question.

With what are you getting fries?

Would you have fries with fries?

Or is that just a never-ending basket of fries?

Could you make a meal of fries?

Have a plate of chili fries, cheese fries and some nacho fries?

Would you have fries with that?

Maybe some plain fries on the side?

And maybe some seasoned fries on the other side?

Mix some fries up in the blender, and drink some fries too.

Fries for all!

Is there such a thing as a fry trap?

Could they genetically engineer a Venus Fry Trap?

If you have fries on your burger, do you still have fries as a side?

Do you put a pickle on your fries?

Ever tried refried fries? Add some cheese and sour cream! Maybe a slice or two of fresh jalapeño. Or, if all you can get is pickled jalapeño slices, that’d work too.

Fries with ketchup. Fries with vinegar. Fries with malt vinegar. Fries with malted milk balls.

Fries. Fries. Fries!

It’s Fryday! Friday Fryday! Have some fries for Fryday Friday!

Would you like fries with that?

Spoiler Warning: Don’t read this if you don’t want the ending (and the BIG REVEAL!) spoiled for you. In the final episode, you’ll learn exactly what the island was all about. Oh, forget it… By the time it airs, you’ll have forgotten this anyway…

So, here’s the deal…

The end of last season introduced two new characters: Jacob and some other guy.

Well, we all knew about Jacob already, but this is the first we’ve actually seen him. Now, who is the other guy that wanted to find a loophole to kill him?

The other guy will be revealed to be Mephistopheles, who is a version of the devil himself.

These two have been locked in combat for hundreds of years, if not longer. It is generally not a physical combat, but more of a chess match.

In every direct challenge, Jacob has always defeated Mephistopheles. Except, of course, in the latest incident, which was in the season finale, where Mephistopheles, disguised as Locke, convinced Ben to kill Jacob.

Of course, Jacob had the foresight to see all this happening, which is why he orchestrated the castaways to arrive on the island in the first place. You see, them ending up in the past was part of Jacob’s plan and, by detonating the bomb, they will be resetting the timeline.

Thus, Mephistopheles, in the new timeline, will not manage to kill Jacob, thus giving Jacob another win.

Through all of this, we have never learned Jacob’s last name, yet he does have one. But, that will not be revealed until the very end of the final episode.

After resetting the timeline, most everything will be one big do-over, with everyone starting fresh, but they will retain their memories of what happened, which is by Jacob’s design after all. Remember, he selected these people for a reason, and they had mixed-up lives and lessons to be learned. By remembering what happened before, they’ll be able to realize their mistakes and fix them in their second chance at life.

Of course, they will not share their tale, not that anyone would believe them anyway.

Finally, at the very end, they feel compelled to find the island. Each of them, not knowing but still remembering the others, will come together on the same plane, take off and, once again, arrive on the island, which, as we all know, is somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

Arriving at the island, Jacob will be there to meet them, having expected their arrival. As they drop off their luggage, Jacob will raise a glass of wine in toast to them and deliver the final line of the series: “My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.”

Or, maybe not.

But, I thought it would be a fun idea.

Silly blog comment spammers. Don’t leave a “comment” saying how useful a blog post was when it was a completely useless blog post.

I know.

I write all this stuff, which is mostly stuff a five year old could probably write, but I write it nonetheless.

And, I have a pretty good idea which ones are useful (a few) and which are completely useless (many).

So, when you leave a comment, you should probably know the difference too.

Alas, you are probably using some spam commenting bot so you don’t even read the posts anyway. Just set the bot loose and hope it builds up some backlinks for you.

Guess what? Your comments get caught, and then I mark them as spam, and then Akismet learns your wicked ways.

So, it really is self-defeating. It’s kind of like a roach motel. Roaches check in, but they don’t check out.

The same goes for spammy blog comments. They get caught and never get released. No backlink for you!

Why not set another trap for the comment spammers, eh? How about I throw some keywords in this post to attract you? This particular post is largely useless–entertaining maybe–but useless. So, if you leave a comment saying this was a useful post and you want to read more on this topic, I will know you didn’t actually read it. On the other hand, if you say it was entertaining, that might throw me for a loop. But, I’ll catch on. How many spam comments do you see on here anyway? Not many, right?

Alright, so let’s throw out some roach motel keywords to bust the spam comment bots: make money online, Rolex watches, live nude girls, shoes, Britney Spears, weight loss, lose weight fast, Miley Cyrus, hope springs eternal, prescription drugs, diamond ring, natural male enhancement, silly string, hot stocks, forex, red paint, lipstick, get back your ex, find a new job, help, seasonal affective disorder, sad songs, dating, bacon-wrapped filet mignon at wholesale pricing when you buy by the dozen, free freezer with a $500 order, gift certificates, money for gold, rat cheese, Halloween costume ideas, order meds from home, World Series tickets, Chevrolet humor, candy, chocolate, new blog post, hot tamale, NCIS, Kathleen Sebelius, Barack Obama, John McCain, Joe the Plumber, Transformers, Megan Fox, Fox News, Glenn Beck, jalapeño, larger than life, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Nancy Pelosi, loose screws, when is LOST coming back, yo-yo, and dog training tips.

That should do it. Welcome to the spam black hole, spam commentators!

I think spammers may be getting dumber.

Check out this latest spam/phishing message I received…

Subject: Fedex Tracking N5*********

(I replaced the actual number with ***’s.)

Okay. Got that? It’s a FedEx tracking number. So, apparently I’m receiving something or sent something.

Anyway, the next thing you’ll note is the sender…

Sender: United Parcel Service

So, let’s see, UPS is giving me a FedEx tracking number. Hmmm…

But, wait, it gets worse. When I read the message, it tells me that the postal package I tried to send could not be delivered in time. (And, the remainder of the message is that I need to print out the attached invoice, included as a ZIP file, which likely contains malware or something.)

Okay, so UPS is sending me a message with a FedEx tracking number for a package I tried to mail at the U.S. Postal Service.

That makes perfect sense.

I’m not sure now whether the spammers are stupid, whether they think I’m stupid, or if they’re just covering all their bases. After all, if you had sent a package, you might only notice that service and not the others, right?

Nah.

Wow. I just got this great eMail today, offering to save me as much as 20% on my mortgage. Check it out:

We are writing to you with some good news today. After reviewing records of over 1000 homeowners in **********, we have located individuals who we believe could be paying up to 20% less per month.

You see that? I might be paying as much as 20% more than I should. Let’s see if this company can save me some money…

Your property at Po Box **** is an 85% match. Therefore, you have been placed in our priority service queue. Our financial strategies department will review your information for accuracy and help you with your payment reduction plan.

I never realized my PO Box rental fee was actually a mortgage payment! I wonder when it will be paid off? I’ve had that box for at least 10 years now. Here I thought I just rented it. I wonder whether I signed up for a 20 year mortgage or a 30 year mortgage? If it’s a 20 year mortgage, I’m halfway there! I wonder if I can pay it all off early?

Maybe I should contact this company to see if they can knock off that 20% on my PO Box rental, I mean, mortgage fee?

Every day should be orange day!

What do you say?

Color something orange this day!

Orange you happy to be alive today?

Drink up your orange juice!

Don’t let your oranges roll around loose!

What if orange were the color of a train caboose?

Would you wear an orange skin jacket?

Would you rub an orange on a tennis racket?

If you were going on a trip with an orange would you pack it?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

What do you say?

Will you do something with orange today?

Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!

It was today.

Saturday! Saturday! Talkin’ ’bout Saturday! Saturday!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was today.

Saturday.

Not Friday.

Saturday.

Not Sunday.

Saturday.

Saturday?

Saturday.

Again.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

Saturday night now on Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

Saturday’s all right,
All night,
‘Til midnight.

Again.

Then it’s Sunday.

Again.

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.

We’ll be talking about Sunday.

The day before Monday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah, oh, yeah!

Until then it’s…

Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!

Again.

Imagine there’s a post here.

Imagine it’s furry and free.

Or maybe it’s just all furry.

Furry Friday but maybe not free.

Maybe it’s a fee furry Friday.

Maybe you need to pay a quarter to read this post.

Yeah, maybe that sounds like a good plan.

Oops. You’ve already read it.

You owe me a quarter.

Thanks.

Speedcat is hosting a Refrigerator Wars contest, so get yourself over there and submit your fridge photo. (Fridge Foto? Phridge Photo?)

Have at it!

The prize is having Speedy like you more. Everybody wins!

That’s right, we’re going green–by recycling yesterday’s image!

Just adjusted the hue in Photoshop and, voila!, instant Purple Passion.

Pretty.

You too can participate in Going Green with Purple Passion Wednesday by taking an image you posted on your blog yesterday (or earlier, we won’t get picky here), turning it purple and reposting it today. Yeah, it’s late in the day, but so what? Eat yer dinner and get postin’!

Put yer linky link in the comments below and you’ll get a link up here (qualified entrants only).

Whoosh!

—> Your link could be here.

Like this —> The Speedcat Hollydale Recycling Viking Bus.