Yesterday was Purple Saturday. Guess Speedy was busy or forgot, because he didn’t have a post to remind me.

But, I had grapes in yesterday’s post. Those are purple. I think that counts for something.

Anyway, we’ll make it official with a Purple Sunday post. Plus, I didn’t have any other ideas. I was hoping that this January was going to beat January 2009 in terms of traffic, but that’s not going to happen. Last year, I had that surge in traffic from the Twitter phishing posts. Still, I was on track to beat last year, even without a big surge of traffic from anything. I did get some minor blips from the Late Night TV Battles, but that was nothing compared to the Twitter phishing traffic of last year.

And, this being a weekend, where traffic is normally lower than on the weekdays (I guess people must read blogs at work…), there’s probably not much chance of beating out last January. I would have to about double my normal weekend traffic. So, bummer.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering what’s in the photo. It is cauliflower. Purple cauliflower. Like Bond, James Bond. Only it’s cauliflower, purple cauliflower.

And, it’s real. I did not make it up. See?

For those that still don’t believe me, check it out on Wikipedia: Cauliflower. It’s purple because it has antioxidants. Still don’t believe me? Okay, then, maybe you’ll believe The Persnickety Palate: “Purple Cauliflower Eater.”

Now that we’ve established that I’m not making this up, get thee down to thy local grocery shoppe and get thyself one of these passionate purples of cauliflower and enjoy the hearty goodness of antioxidants without the brain killing alcohol of red wine. Not that I make any guarantees about the antioxidant strength or worthiness of the purple cauliflower, because I have no idea. But, you can eat all you want and not get drunk. So, you can still drive home afterwards.

Or operate heavy machinery.

Or get on Facebook without worrying about what kind of drunken messages you’ll leave your ex.

You’re on your own if you make purple cauliflower wine though…

You know, I’ve had this little Wacom tablet for a couple years now. I’ve rarely used it. I don’t even think about it most of the time either, probably because it’s tucked off to the side where I don’t even see it, buried under a dust cloth (i.e., paper towel) and miscellaneous computer cords and stuff. Even the pen, which used to be visible on the corner of my desk, is hidden behind a hard drive, and an envelope that’s really been there too long. I should file that…

It was originally used on my previous computer. It sat on top of it, in fact. I think. It’s been a while. Even there, I didn’t use it that often.

It was a package deal with animation software I bought. You could buy it at the same time as the software for a reduced price. A nice discount, as I remember. I think there was a choice of sizes. I chose the smallest. I figured that would be sufficient for my needs and I could always get a larger one if this animation stuff worked out. And, the small one was a really good deal. So, why not?

Shame that I don’t use it much. Or, rather, hardly at all. I wonder why?

Oh, yeah. Now I remember… I can’t draw.

That also explains why the animation career went nowhere fast…

It did seem like a good idea at the time though.

You know, for weeks now, people (mostly Conan supporters) have claimed that moving The Tonight Show to 12:05 a.m. would have made it The Tomorrow Show.

In that case, why is the second half of The Tonight Show still considered The Tonight Show? After midnight, it’s no longer “tonight”, right?

Night doesn’t end at 11:59 p.m. Night spans from sunset to sunrise. So, 12:05 is still night, right? If you’re out late, do you refer to midnight as morning? It’s still night.

Let’s look at it another way. When is Saturday night? Saturday after sunset, right? Saturday Night Live is on at 11:30 p.m., right? It’s not on at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday, is it? When it turns to 12:00 a.m. and becomes Sunday, do you think of that as Sunday morning? Or, do you still think of it as Saturday night?

Do you think of 12:00 a.m. Saturday to sunrise as Saturday night? And then sunset to 11:59 p.m. on Saturday as the second Saturday night? The other Saturday night? The second-half of Saturday night? Or, do you still think of 12:00 a.m. as part of Friday night? It’s still night, right? And, if it’s not Saturday night, it’s Friday night. Even if you don’t think of it as Friday night, it’s still the same night, right? The sun didn’t pop up at 12:00:00 a.m. and dip back down at 12:00:59 a.m., right? So, it’s all the same night. Even though it may be a different day, it’s still the same night. It’s still tonight.

Otherwise, The Tonight Show would have to be a half-hour show.

With a Starbucks on every corner, it may seem to be a bad idea to open your own coffeeshop. But, in fact, small coffee shops can do quite well. Just give this (admittedly old) article a read: “Don’t Fear Starbucks“. Here’s another one from last year: “Starbucks and Small Business“.

Even while Starbucks isn’t quite growing at the rate it used to, and started closing a number of stores back in 2008, it still remains quite popular. Even companies like McDonald’s have gotten into the act, offering premium coffees, but at lower prices than Starbucks.

Despite the economy, people still crave their daily cup of coffee, and not everyone has the time or inclination to make it themselves, leaving plenty of opportunities for small coffee shops to start and prosper.

Of course, being able to make a quality cup of coffee is just one step in starting your own coffee shop. It takes a whole lot more than your coffee maker and a few styrofoam cups. But, it need not be difficult or expensive. Take a look at The Brew Book’s Coffee Shop Secrets for full details on starting your own coffee shop.

Mind you, I do get a commission if you buy that book. But, even if you choose not to make a purchase, there is a lot of useful information you can get from the page, including seeing the kinds of things you’ll need to learn and know.

You know, during economic depressions and recessions is when many companies started or turned things around to become more successful. For every business that closes, there’s another that’s filling the gap. The losers are often those with the least visibility while the ones that manage to make it through, and even thrive, are those that keep a high profile and maintain a sense of determination to succeed. In some ways, it may seem contrary to try to start something when so many others are closing or struggling to hang on, but now’s the time to establish a foothold.

So, if you’ve ever thought about owning your own business, now is the time. If you’ve ever thought about owning your own coffee shop, now is the time to check out The Brew Book’s Coffee Shop Secrets.

After the Apple iPad was revealed today, I followed some of the chatter online about the new device. Some of the criticisms revolved around the size. Some thought it would be too big to carry around.

Pictures, even with people holding it, often don’t give you an accurate impression of what something is really like. And dimensions give you an idea but are often molded by what you want it to be or think it to be rather than what is.

So, I wanted to see it for myself. Of course, since it’s not going to be available for another 60 days, and I don’t know of any demo units nearby (if they are even available to the Apple stores), I decided to make one.

Yes, I made an iPad. Sort of…

This mock iPad was created to size. It measures 9.56″ x 7.47″ x 0.5″, which are the dimensions of the iPad according to Apple’s website. Don’t know about weight. I would guess mine is very close. It feels like it could be 1.5 pounds, but I haven’t weighed it. Any at rate, I was more concerned about size.

While not something you could put in your pocket, it is also something that is not too big to carry around. It’s certainly smaller than a MacBook Pro and probably most notebooks.

It is smaller than a standard sheet of 8.5″ x 11″ paper. If you want something close in comparison that you might have around the house, take a look at an 8×10 photo. It’s going to be slightly smaller than that.

I’d guess it to be about the size of a textbook, though thinner. I don’t have any textbooks handy, but I do have some various books, and the iPad would certainly be in the range of a “normal” book size. Of course, it’s larger than a typical paperback book. But, it’s about the same size as a typical hardcover or a manual.

So, really, it’s not a size that would be unusual to carry if you’re used to carrying around a book or two. Plus, with it’s thinner size, it could easily fit in a briefcase or totebag.

It’ll probably be a good tool for students and businesspeople.

Here’s how it compares in size to the original Newton MessagePad:

As you can see, it’s quite a bit larger than the Newton MessagePad. But, it is smaller than the Newton eMate 300, which was a later Newton model designed for schools. Though it’s important to note that the eMate had a built-in keyboard whereas the iPad does not, though it does have an onscreen keyboard and will have an external keyboard available for use with a docking station.

The iPad is not going to be a replacement for a laptop but, for many people, I think it will be a useful alternative. There are times you want to take something portable with you but even a notebook computer can be rather bulky to carry around. If you need a computer on the road with you for video, design or other specialized work, then an iPad is certainly not going to be able to replace that. On the other hand, if you just need something portable that can do basic tasks, then the iPad has you covered. Apple will also have a version of iWork available for iPad which will be compatible with the Macintosh versions. The components of iWork are Pages (a word processor), Numbers (a spreadsheet) and Keynote (a presentation package), each available separately for the iPad at $9.99 each.

This would be great for writers, as you could take something relatively small with you on the go. Then, you can sync up with your Mac when you get home. And, since the iPad is fully Internet capable, you can browse the web as well. I’m guessing you can probably post to your blog as well.

For comparison, here is my mock iPad pictured with an MSI Wind notebook:

As you can see, the iPad is larger in one direction and shorter in the other direction as compared to the MSI Wind notebook. However, the iPad is thinner and (I’m guessing) lighter.

So, the iPad is going to be comparing to carrying a small notebook such as the MSI Wind, and possibly easier and lighter to carry around.

It’s also very Star Trek-like in that it is a lot like the PADDs they used in The Next Generation and subsequent series.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see once these start getting into people’s hands…

Probably.

No one knows what it’s going to be called, but some are guessing iPad, iSlate or iTablet.

If they went with iPad, that would fit in with the iPhone and the iPod.

After some little research of my own, I’m thinking it’s going to be the Apple iSlate.

My little research is this… ipad.com and itablet.com are registered by other companies. These registrations go back a few years.

On the other hand, iSlate.com is registered at MarkMonitor, to a generic sounding company housed at their offices.

MarkMonitor is some kind of registrar and “brand protection” service for large companies. The domain, ipod.com, is owned by Apple and also registered through MarkMonitor.

So, it would look to me like they are using MarkMonitor to conceal ownership before the grand unveiling, today, reportedly, probably.

So, we can all look forward to the Apple iSlate being announced today.

That’s my guess anyway.

You’re probably familiar with WTF, and what it stands for, which may be something not so family-friendly, depending upon how you’ve chosen to interpret it, if you’re interpreting it in a manner that differs from what it really means.

Well, there are plenty of alternatives for what it could mean. This include:

What? It’s Friday!?

What The Frak?

What The Fudge?

What’s That, Fudge?

Where’s The Fudge?

Who’s The Fool?

Where’s The Fridge?

What’s That, Friend?

Want The Fudge?

Who’s That Freak?

When’s The Frenzy?

What The Find!

Where’s The Frill?

Why The Fluff?

Watch This Fist!

Watch This, Friend.

Watch The Food!

Where’s The Food?

Where’s The Flood?

However, I am choosing to believe that it stands for “What the Flowchart!?”

I like that one.

You can even incorporate it into your everyday conversation.

“What the flowchart is that!?”

People will say, “Huh?”

And you reply, “WTF.”

People that are unfamiliar with the Internet will repeat, “Huh?”

And then you say, “It stands for What The Flowchart?”

Then they’ll be like, “Well, what is that supposed to mean? That doesn’t even make sense.”

And, then you’ll say, “It’s an Internet thing.”

And, then they’ll just shake their heads.

And then they’ll start texting “WTF” to their kids.

You might think that’s funny. But, it’s not. If their kids don’t know what WTF means, then they’ll now know that it stands for “What the Flowchart?” If their kids did know what it means, then they’ll think their parents are cool. Maybe.

Either way, win-win.

So, remember, WTF stands for What The Flowchart!? Spread the word. We can clean up the Internet one acronym at a time!

It is what it is until it’s not what it is. Then, it is something else. But, even then, it is still what it is, it’s just that it’s not what it was? But, is anything? Or anyone?

It is what it is, but will it be what it is or will it be what it was? It will be what it will be. Even if it won’t be anything at all.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

On to other things…

Got a spam today. Apparently, if I order a fancy watch today, it includes a free box. Wow. What a premium to offer. A free box. How much do you suppose it cost them for that? A quarter? Here, buy this $500 watch and we’ll give you a free box. You save a whole twenty-five cents!

You know, if I’m paying $500 for a watch, I don’t think saving a quarter on a box is a big selling point.

Maybe it’s a fancy box. Costs a whole dollar. Maybe it includes some cotton padding. Maybe two bucks for that. Whoa! You mean if I spend $500 on a watch, I can get this exclusive cotton-lined box for free? How exactly does that entice you to buy a watch? Free box!

Tell you what… If you’re that desperate for a box, forget the $500 watch! You can probably get a gross of fancy cotton-lined boxes for the $500. You’ll never be in need of a box again.

Unless you decide to start selling fake Rolex watches…

Which go for $129.99 according to a spam I just got while writing this. Well, maybe with a $129.99 watch, that free box is a good bonus… Er, wait… This spammer doesn’t offer me a free box with purchase.

I wonder how much they charge for their boxes? I’m thinking maybe they should team up with the other spammer. Get something going. Everybody gets a free box with their order of a fancy fake watch! Woohoo!

Except for those people that will only buy a fake Swatch. Those people just get their watch in a cheap paper bag stuffed with crumpled months-old newspapers.

Speaking of which, what happens when all the newspapers go Internet-only? Whatever will we line our birdcages with and pack our shipping goods? I guess you could stuff some Kindles and Nooks in there, but I don’t think they’ll do a very good job of keeping your glassware from getting broken.

I just got this eMail from a company that knows about my timeshare and can rent it out for me. Or sell it. They’ll do all the work, and I just collect the cash.

Sounds like a plan to me!

I think I’ll go with the renting option so that I can get a steady income. If I sell it, that’s just a one-time deal, you know? Plus, real estate is low these days, so best to hang on to it until it goes up in value.

You might think there’s a small flaw in my plan in that I don’t actually own a timeshare. But, this company says they know about it, so I’m thinking I must own a timeshare I don’t even know about. Cha-ching!

Do you know how many timeshares I don’t own? I bet there are a lot. And that means there are probably a lot that I don’t know I don’t own, which means I can make a ton of money renting them out, because if I don’t know I own a timeshare, then there is someone out there that doesn’t know they don’t own a timeshare and, if there’s one person that doesn’t know they don’t own a timeshare, there are probably many others that don’t know they don’t own a timeshare, which means that I might own a good number of timeshares I didn’t know I owned.

This company wouldn’t lie to me, right?

I’m going to be rich!

Have you ever thought what it would be like if we didn’t agree on words?

Sometimes, there’s a battle over what to call things. Some people think it should be called one thing and others another. Often, sooner or later, one will win out, though not necessarily the most logical.

Sometimes, it’s no big deal. Consider soda. Or cola. Or pop. Or soda pop. See? In different areas, it’s called different things. For the most part, we understand each other, but most stick with our preferences.

Can you imagine that happening in other areas? Consider the tree. Do you think, way back when, people argued what to call the parts of a tree? Maybe one group thought the green things should be called leaves, while the stuff on the trunk of the tree should be called bark. And then another group thought the stuff on the trunk of the tree should be called leaves and the green things called bark.

What if those two groups persisted with their preferences to this day?

One guy yells to his neighbor: “Can’t you get your dog to stop leaving!?”

The neighbor replies: “I did! He’s on a leash!”

The other guy yells back: “He’s still leaving!”

The neighbor replies: “No, he’s not! Can’t you hear him barking?”

The other guy yells back: “I wish he would bark. I wish you’d bark too!”

The neighbor replies: “Woof! Woof!”

There’s a lesson in there about communication and the importance of consistency in language. The bigger lesson is, of course, that you should be worried and afraid if your neighbor ever tells you your tree is barking.