Dear Blog Comment Spammer

Dear Blog Comment Spammer,

You are an idiot.

Now, I know that you may not even be real. You’re probably just some script or bot that goes around posting your stupid comments in order to get backlinks to your sucky website.

So, you that fired up that script or that sent out that bot are an idiot.

First of all, I’m not stupid. My blog is a blog, not a forum. So, when you or your stupid little script buddy posts a message offering to discuss the issue further in PM, I can’t help but think what a moron you must be to send out a bot like that. Seriously. There is no private messaging system here. This is a blog. Like most blogs, you leave comments. You don’t discuss things in PM because there are no PMs here.

Most blogs are like that. The blogs that aren’t are forums. This is not a forum. Your stupid little bot should be able to figure it out. It’s not that hard.

And, another thing. Maybe if you built a website that wasn’t a total piece of worthless garbage, people might actually want to link to your site. You know? That’s what bloggers like to do. We see something interesting and we tell our readers, hey, go check this out. It’s cool!

The reason you’re probably using bots to post stupid comments is to get backlinks to your crummy site because, otherwise, no one would ever link to the piece of garbage you call a website. So, you hope to sneak in some links on some blogs in order to do it.

How about this? Why don’t you set up your own crummy blogs? Then you can spam yourself to your heart’s content. Think of all the backlinks you can build every day when you’re not running into blogs that use Akismet, moderation and/or CAPTCHA to block your stupid spam comments? You can leave your blogs fully open and spam the heck out of them!

You can carve out your own little virtual Internet with your worthless sites and your crummy blogs all linking to one another. You could generate tons of fresh stupid content daily! Google loves fresh links. So, why don’t you leave the rest of us alone and just start your own private little spam network?

Or, maybe, just maybe, you could make a quality website and post quality comments on blogs–comments that wouldn’t get blocked or deleted. And people would link to you voluntarily too because you had cool or useful stuff.

Of course, you’ll never do that. That would involve work and you’re lazy. So, I guess you’ll just go back to building useless websites and spamming blogs with stupid comments.

And I’ll just continue to block you and delete them.

And since Akismet blocks 99% of your stupid blog comments, you’re just wasting your time anyway.

2 comments on “Dear Blog Comment Spammer
  1. Jason S. says:

    One thing I must say about this is “bravo!”. I was busy writing my own article on how generating content on a website or blog is an absolute necessity to gain traffic and how my complete lack of a plan of where exactly to take my little site is precisely what my plan is. At the time I was using a little plugin called Zemanta and your article came up as a “related article”. I thought it interesting that your could be considered “related” but apparently it is. Suffice it to say, I think that you nailed it right on the head why script kiddies will create bots to accomplish the goal of traffic. If you’d like to see what I have to say about content and my “plan” feel free: http://schultze.ca/jason/2010/07/04/content-content-content/

    Hopefully, this does not get tagged by Akismet as being spam ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. dcr says:

    Well, you did get thrown into moderation, but I fished your comment out. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Despite what anyone says, content is still king.

    Thanks for stopping by!

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