Yes, I shall expose my secret.

You see, I used to struggle with writing long blog posts.

At minimum, you need to have enough content so that the ads don’t run into the post footer.

So, you need to write at least that much, plus a little more to be on the safe side.

But, I’ve discovered a shortcut.

A way to cheat at blogging.

It’s called the “carriage return.”

Yes, that’s right.

You see, what you do is, at the end of every line, you hit “Return.”

And then what would ordinarily be like one paragraph becomes a whole blog post.

So, you can get away with writing less, simply by hitting “Return” more.

For some of you, the “Return” key might say “Enter.”

Anyway, so that is the secret.

This way, I can spend like two minutes on a blog post, instead of ten or fifteen or twenty.

The downside is that I write much less, but that saves you time!

So, see?

This is all for your benefit.

You’re welcome.

Apparently, the spammers like the design of my blog, but they think that I should change it every so often.

Seriously.

A spam comment said that.

Whatever.

Like I am going to change my theme to keep the spammers happy.

Maybe if I don’t change it, they’ll go away?

Probably not.

But, one can hope.

That’s right. You could be a gazillionaire.

Look, a million bucks isn’t what it used to be.

These days, being a millionaire is pretty much equivalent to being a loser.

A complete and utter loser.

What? You have a million bucks? Whoa. Poor fellow.

Two million? Bet you think you’re something.

Ten million? Slacker.

Oh, you say you’re a billionaire. Well, maybe you’re not a complete loser anymore but, still, you’re pretty lame.

A billion dollars. Ha! That’s like play money.

Oh, you have several billion dollars? Puh-leeze. Might as well have a bright red “L” tattooed on your forehead for “LAME.” Yeah, you could spell out LAME, but why be a show-off? You’re not made of money. You’re just a billionaire. You’re pathetic.

No, what you want to be is a gazillionaire. Yeah, you want to be able to pay off a country’s national debt with the loose change in your pockets, except you wouldn’t because why would you reward that kind of irresponsibility by paying it off for them?

Being a gazillionaire is where it’s at.

But, how to be one, that was the question, right?

Well, that’s easy.

All you need to do is make a gazillion dollars.

After that, you’re a gazillionaire.

Geesh. I make this stuff so easy for you people.

How wordless can a Wordless Wednesday be?

Is this wordless enough for you?

How about now?

No?

Well, I shall try harder next week.

Maybe.

Believe it or not, I had ideas for a blog post earlier in the day.

Just moments ago, I had another idea.

I wish I could remember any of them.

But I don’t.

Yeah, I’ve been lax on my brain training, else I’d remember.

Oh well, they would have been good posts, I’m sure.

Oh, who am I kidding? They would have been just as lame as this one.

Except this one took far less effort.

Less work, same lameness.

Works for me.

Tagline on a food product: “…the [snack] Mother Nature would eat!”

That begs the question, what would Mother Nature eat?

Would she eat carrots?

Wouldn’t that be like murdering her own children?

Would she eat fruit?

Wouldn’t that be kind of sick too? Pulling things off your children and eating them?

Maybe she just drinks water and uses photosynthesis, like plants?

Or maybe, when no one is looking, she whacks a wild boar over the head and has a pig roast.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, how can she have a fire without using wood?

Dried leaves, my friend. Dried leaves. And there’s lots of them in the fall.

But, where do they all go?

Hmmm?

Well, now you know.

Someone, somewhere, somehow

Will make sense of this post, now

Or maybe much later in a pow wow.,

If the authorities will allow.

If not, then you better buy a cow,

And feed it before you sow,

Because it will need its strength to plow.

So that is what you must vow.

If I were you, I’d find a purple cow,

For none other to yourself will endow,

All sorts of wonders that will wow.

That is why you need a purple cow,

Not that you will find one now.

But you go look while I say “chow!”

I have a blog that is very lame,

And it is so very much a shame,

That every day is more of the same.

Not to worry, ’cause it’s all tame,

But that won’t earn me any fame.

Still, I am glad that you came.

You’ll not print and put this in a frame,

Nor will it ever become a video game.

I’ll never be a blogging big name.

But it is okay, just the same,

As no one at me will take aim.

And, for that, no one can blame.

It would have been a good title had I fried something today.

Which I did not.

Neither food nor electronics.

Thankfully, not any of the latter.

Though the former would have been okay, had it been tasty.

But, such as it is, the title is completely irrelevant.

I know. I know. I let you down again.

Sorry.

How thoughtless can a Thoughtless Thursday be?

Pretty thoughtless.