Wordless Wednesday.

With words.

Which are few.

And not the least bit witty.

Thus, witless.

Witness these witless words.

On Wordless Wednesday.

With words.

That was an idea I had once. Tippy Canoe and Tyler 2.0. Heck, maybe I still will do it one day.

Anyway…

So, I need to get back into writing. You know, to finish all those projects I have started.

Yet, I keep flip-flopping. One of the things I have in progress I visualize more as a movie or audio-visual medium of some sort. Plus, I tend to be short on description when I write. Some writers describe every detail and it brings the fictional world into sharp focus for the reader. I, on the other hand, tend to just present what’s happening. I see the details in my mind, but it just doesn’t occur to me to describe it all in detail. For me, it tends to take away from what’s going on.

For example, I have a seen that takes place in an alley. There are garbage cans and whatnot. What more do you need to know? It’s an alley. Fill in the blanks. Maybe there’s an old, torn t-shirt hanging from broken, rusted fence that used to lock the entrance to the alley at the far end. Maybe there isn’t. Imagine what you want. I’m not sure that I care because none of the characters are going to be picking up that t-shirt and putting it on.

So, I sometimes think that maybe I should write screenplays.

But, then, what do I do with it? If no one produces it, it just sits in a drawer. Whereas, if I write a novel or short story or whatever, I can publish it myself if need be. I can put it on my website, and people will be able to read it.

Not the same with a screenplay. Sure, people can read it, but I’m not sure there are as many people interested in reading screenplays for fun as there are for reading novels and short stories for fun.

Sure, I’d like to shoot films myself, but that’s sort of self-delusional. To allow audiences to see what I really want them to see, I would need to hire experts to put the film together. I’d need a good director, actors, special effects people and all that jazz. And all that takes money and, being that my interest is scifi, I don’t exactly come up with ideas that would be cheap to make without them coming off as cheesy.

So, there I am. I’ve looked at screen writing software I can buy to help me do the proper formatting and all that. But, again, then what?

A bit of a Catch-22.

That’s a trending topic on Twitter right now…

Montana Forever!

Not sure whether it is state pride or something to do with Hannah Montana.

The latter, apparently.

And, apparently, Miley Cyrus had some sort of “wardrobe malfunction” recently.

She turns 18 later this month on the 23rd. Who knows how many more “wardrobe malfunctions” she’ll have after that. At the rate she’s going, she’ll probably be posing for Playboy on November 24th.

Anyway, I just picked “Montana Forever” out of the trending topics stream on Twitter, slapped Monday in front of it, and wrote around it.

Maybe I chose badly. I could have picked “Europe Music Awards,” but Monday Europe Music Awards doesn’t make a good title. MEMA. Sounds like Sheldon’s grandmother. The Big Bang Theory.

Oh, never mind.

Put on your Sunday best,

Else, give it all a rest.

You’ve got to head out for the Fall Fest,

But don’t dress as though in jest.

Upon your head, a mighty crest,

A nice bow tie and puff out your chest.

To your home, invite a guest.

They will come at your behest.

So, pretty and tidy your nest,

For ending there is their quest.

Maybe wear a pretty vest,

Along with all the rest

Of your Sunday best.

You know what I hate?

These annoying slim caps or “Eco-Slim caps” or whatever nonsense name they want to give these annoyances.

Water bottle companies use them, Coca-Cola uses them, and others. I haven’t seen Dr. Pepper using them (yet), so hopefully they’ll buck the trend and keep using normal size caps.

These slim cap things are a royal pain. They are more difficult to open because there is less surface area to grab onto. And, you have to get them just right to close them back up. Sometimes, you sit there twisting the thing trying to get it to go back on.

They are a pain.

The one water bottle company touts them as a way of “going green” because they use 20% less plastic than normal caps. Well, you know what? It’s a bit of a moot point because more and more people are recycling plastic anyway. Besides that, what may be 20% less plastic results in 100% more frustration in opening the bloody bottles!

Seriously, I just want to have something to drink, not have a new puzzle game.

What will it take? Someone dying of thirst in the desert because they couldn’t get the freakin’ slim cap off the bottle?

Hey Coca-Cola! You want to reduce plastic? How about getting rid of those plastic things that hold six-packs together? You know the ones that wild animals get their heads stuck in and stuff? Get rid of those. That ought to reduce plastic. Plus, it may save a polar bear or duck or mongoose or something. Then you can give us all normal size caps back. Thanks!

Until then, maybe I’ll just drink more Dr. Pepper.

That’s right…

Happy knitted red rubber onion skin bunny hand puppets!

First, they are happily knitted by little old ladies. Er, diminutive elderly women.

They are made of red rubber which is been enhanced by onion skin glued on with a strong but flexible adhesive. The onion skin may wrinkle but you’ll get many months of use out of the puppet before the paper begins to crackle, which will then give your puppet an aged appearance. So, it’s all good.

And, of course, they are bunnies because who doesn’t like bunnies?

And they fit on your hand because, otherwise, they wouldn’t be a hand puppet, would they?

So, order your happy knitted red rubber onion skin bunny hand puppets today! They make a great Christmas gift for the disturbed children in your life.

And, yes, happy knitted red rubber onion skin bunny hand puppets are, unfortunately, completely fictional. Would be cool, though, if they were real.

But, I can only make them if I know I will get at least a hundred orders for the things.

Then again, maybe not. I’m not sure what kind of adhesive would let the onion skin paper wrinkle but not break or tear. I made that up. Hmmm.

So, maybe no one will get any happy knitted red rubber onion skin bunny hand puppets.

It was a nice thought though. And it is the thought that counts, after all.

It’s time to phone it in yet again.

Because I am out of ideas.

Plus, I am tired.

So, phoning it in it is on yet another Thoughtless Thursday.

Which is a good meme, I think. Thoughtless Thursday. Combine that with Wordless Wednesday and you don’t have to have a real thought for two days in a row.

Can’t upload images, so this will have to do…

 
                   
                   
                   
                   
                   
                   
       

It’s Election Day in the U.S.

Time to kick the trash to the curb!

Er, wait, is it not politically correct to say that?

Hmmm…

Okay, how about it’s time to show the clowns the door?

Is that better?

Or, let’s give some of these clowns their own pink slips and put them in the unemployment lines?

Phoning it in again.

Just like last Monday.

Monday Monday Monday.

Today is Monday.

It’s a day unlike any other day.

Because it is Monday.

What’s that, you say?

Hey hey hey!

I would vote nay.

And phone it in again.

But give your horse some hay.

He’ll be hungry until May.

You don’t say?

For breakfast try some curds and whey.

It can’t be hard to stay.

But maybe you must go away.

What’s that, you say?

Phoning it in—it’s not a sin.

Yes. I am phoning it in today.

Just like any other day.

Monday Monday Monday.

Phoning it in again.