I swear that spammers are getting dumber.

Perhaps you’ve seen phishing messages, like “You have 5 unread messages at Facebook.”

Sometimes it’s Twitter. Or MySpace. Or whatever.

Sometimes, they’re not phishing messages. Sometimes they’re invitations to dating sites. “You have a secret admirer!” Or whatever. You need to join their site to find out who’s interested in you.

Sometimes, you’ll get messages that so-and-so saw your profile on a dating site and wanted to meet you. Well, that’s a tip-off since I don’t have a profile on any dating site, so it’s kind of hard for them to have seen my profile, right?

Anyway, so today I get a new one. “You have 0 unread messages on…” And it’s for some dating site.

Um, okay. If I have 0 unread messages, why do I want to login to read them? Either I’ve already read them or I don’t have any. Now, knowing I don’t have an account on this dating service, I know I haven’t read any messages, so no worries about them being deleted, which isn’t threatened in the eMail at all. If it were, I could see where someone might want to login to see what messages they’ve forgotten about. But, no. It’s just a pitch to join their site.

Idiots.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the point of the stupid subject line was to get me to read the eMail and, since I did that, they are not so dumb after all.

Sorry.

Ordinarily, I would have simply deleted it based on the subject. After all, if I have 0 unread messages waiting for me, well, that’s not exactly an urgent call to action, is it?

I only read it because I wanted to blog about it and, in order to blog about it, it was helpful to read it.

So, score a big zero for the spammer.

On the flip side, at least my spam this morning was mildly entertaining.

If you get on the bus,
You can’t be anonymous.

If you’re a part of us,
You can’t be anonymous.

If in public you cuss,
You can’t be anonymous.

If you’re synonymous,
You can’t be anonymous.

If in a diner you fuss,
You can’t be anonymous.

If you’re a one plus,
You can’t be anonymous.

If you’re eponymous,
You can’t be anonymous.

Um, yeah. I think I’ll jump right on that offer.

Or, maybe I’ll wait for free traffic for $10. Maybe that would be a better deal.

Anyway, if you’re looking for some free traffic tips, for free, you can read my old article on “Tips for Getting Traffic to Your Blog.”

It’s almost a year old now, but still good advice.

Except for joining MyBlogLog, because Yahoo is going to be shutting it down. I don’t know if Yahoo! Pulse will be a worthwhile replacement, as I haven’t tested that yet.

Yeah, there’s a blurb at the end of the article to buy my Internet marketing product, but you can ignore that bit. For now.

Almost a year ago, I wrote of my dislike of disqus, the annoying commenting feature a growing number of sites, unfortunately, use.

I do not like it.

I do not like it.

I do not like it.

I do not like it.

I do not like it.

Well, here’s a screenshot that effectively illustrates one of the reasons I dislike disqus.

If my web browser scrolls to a crawl, I can take a wild guess that the site in question uses disqus. Perhaps nine times out of ten, I am correct.

Now, if only I could figure out how to simply block disqus from loading. Then, my web browsing experience would not periodically slow to a crawl.

Can you trust review sites?

I don’t know.

For the past couple weeks, I’ve regularly received, through the contact form on my website, spam from companies selling reviews.

That is, they will post positive, glowing reviews of my company on various review sites online.

For a fee, of course.

So, you have to wonder how many review sites are compromised by this kind of activity.

How do they know if someone is a legitimate customer versus a paid service? I mean, the more verification hoops they require someone to jump through to leave a comment, the less likely real people will leave a comment, right?

If I’m upset with a company, the last thing I want is more hassle. And, if I have to go through a bunch of steps to leave a comment on a review site, I’m just going to go to another review site, where it is easier to leave my comment.

Thus, the sites people will gravitate to to leave reviews will be the same sites that these review “services” can game.

And, you cannot just trust the bad reviews, because you can’t be sure those reviews weren’t paid by competitors to make that business look bad.

In the end, we’re back to the old fashioned ways… Listening to trusted sources, like magazines we trust or people we know.

Because, otherwise, how do you know if a review is legit?

What happens to hope deferred?

Does it anger and disorder the herd?

Does it fly away like a little bird?

What if the feeling recurred?

And, into despair, we whirred?

Would it be so absurd,

If no one, not even a nerd,

Would have savings uninjured?

Would a change thus be spurred?

The lies no longer averred?

The truth no longer blurred?

And the chief fall to third,

When the next election occurred?

What magic could be conjured,

When the crowds are so stirred?

Is that what you hope to have heard?

Word.

This is a blog post.

From your fave blog host.

The one you like most.

I don’t like to boast.

I don’t like burnt toast.

I am not a ghost.

Do you like pork roast?

Do you like to coast?

That’s all I know’st.

So I end this post.

E equals m and c squared,
For that, all his soul he bared.

But, so many never cared.
Only on how the tests they fared.

That’s why few geniuses are paired,
For, to think, few people ever dared.

Their love letters were never tared.
Their feelings never shared.

They sat at their desks and stared
At images of the man wild-haired.

A dog went into the fog,
And soon was stuck in a bog.

It saw a nearby frog,
And asked him to push him a log.

Instead, the frog would be no one’s cog,
And hopped off for a jog.

He then saw a passing hog,
Who was reading a catalog.

The hog was off to build a flog,
And was too busy to help the dog.

At last the dog saw with agog,
A man drinking a glass of eggnog.

But he would not cross the smog,
For the dog smelled too much like hog.

So the dog continued to slog,
To help himself out of the bog.

And here is the story’s epilogue:
With nary a word of dialogue,
With no help of the analog,
The dog did escape from the bog,
I can confirm here on this blog.

I keep getting spam with that in the subject line. The amount may vary, but it’s usually an impressive amount. Usually something some people make in a year, but this guy is supposedly making each month.

Using his magic software or whatever that he can only share with a few people.

And, by a “few” people, he means any of the hundreds of thousands of people he spammed who respond to his spam.

You know what, though? If I want to watch someone make $60,000 a month, I’ll just watch TV. Some of those actors make that much money an episode. And, I get to see how they do it! And, it doesn’t cost me a penny! And, I have about as much chance of duplicating their success as I would spending hundreds of dollars on supposed money-making software from some guy on the Internet I’ve never heard of who’s spammed everyone whose eMail address he can get a hold of.

Sounds like a win-win to me. I spend no money, I don’t get scammed, and I might be entertained for a half hour.