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Mundane Monday: Blue Enamelware Plate

Blue Enamelware Plate 1351

 

Decades before gustatory implants that made tasteless or awful tasting, but healthy, foods taste like things we actually wanted to eat and before government-issued IV pumps that automatically delivered appropriate government-approved nutritional intake and government-mandated mental health regulating drugs that delivered nutrition and mind-conforming pharmaceuticals directly into our bloodstreams, we used things called “plates” on which we placed our food and then ate said food.

For centuries, we took the plate to a table and ate but beginning in mid-20th century, we began moving the plates from our dinner tables to our laps so that we could more comfortably watch TV while we engorged ourselves.

Which, of course, led to the aforementioned government plans to regulate our diets, due to universal tax-funded health care, in which it was decided that everyone’s dietary intakes be regulated so that the taxpayers would not be burdened by those unwilling to voluntarily restrict their intake to government-approved portions. But such is a digression we need not go further into.

We also used utensils, such as knives, forks and spoons (not pictured), until knifes were banned for public safety reasons, leaving only forks and spoons, which were combined into the spork, which was later banned for public safety reasons after a bitter dispute between an American student and a foreign exchange student from France over whether cycling was actually a sport which resulted in the exchange student being beaten to an inch of his life by an angry mob armed with oversized sporks made of plastic, but which appeared metal on the dozens of YouTube videos of the incident, which led to a knee-jerk reaction by Congressmen who felt pressured into banning all eating utensils to prevent future international incidents and also reduce obesity.

That, of course, failed to work as people were then forced to eat with their hands, which made mass consumption of food even easier. Plus, more people were killed each year by hands and fists than by knives and sporks, especially after the banning of said knives and forks.

But you, reading from the future, knew that already and were only interested in what the heck a plate was used for. Well, now you know.

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