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Mundane Monday: Dandelions

Dandelions 0176 & 0177


These pretty little flowers are called dandelions. You from the future may not recognize them as they have been long since eradicated. In our day, many people consider them to be weeds and spend lots of money trying to kill them. But they can also be used for food. Among other things, the flowers can be used to make wine and the leaves can be used in salads, which is why it was banned as part of the Homegrown Foods Safety Act of 2019, which banned all homegrown foods, for safety reasons, because you just can’t trust people to grow their own food and consume it safely.

Thus, homegrown foods were banned and anyone caught growing anything that could be eaten were forced to destroy it or go to jail. Sometimes both. Even unintentionally growing something, like dandelions which few people intended to grow anyway, was illegal, thus resulting in thousands of people salting their lawns to kill everything. Runoff from rain caused the salt to be more widely distributed, leading to crop damage on farms neighboring residential areas, leading to food shortages, which in turn led to higher prices, starving people and food riots.

But, thankfully, the politicians had rescued us from the dangers of homegrown foods. So, you didn’t need to worry about catching Escherichia coli from consuming unwashed carrots from gardens fertilized with manure, but you might get beaten with a crowbar for a box of saltines. There’s always a tradeoff.

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Comment by Lee Dobbins
2013-01-28 20:17:56

dandelion leaves are actually very nutritious and good for detoxifying the body. They are rather bitter though. Try them in a smoothie with grapes and watermelon.

Comment by hagar
2013-02-12 13:21:15

why does lee know this? dandelion cupcakes?

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