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Archive for the ‘Blogging’ Category

Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange Make Life Easier

Monday, March 1st, 2010

So, some of you thought I was going nuts, what with all the dancing monkeys wearing shirts that are orange and stuff.

At first, it was just a little fun we were having on another site talking about dancing monkeys, but then I kep getting more and more ideas.

So, I kept the dancing monkeys going.

On top of that, it made posting daily pretty easy. Just come up with a new dancing monkey. Presto! Done! Okay, it took more than a few minutes, but it was still easier than you might think, especially compared with the alternative of trying to figure out what to write about that day.

So, every day, a new site of dancing monkeys. And, if I was hurting for ideas, I could simply recycle with a minor change or two.

I know. You miss the dancing monkeys wearing shirts that are orange already. Okay. How about a flashback?

Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange
The Original Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange Illustration

Anyway, so that freed me up to finish up another site I’ve been working on. Right now, I’m just waiting on the web host to flip the switch. Then, I have a bit more work to do. Actually, I could do that work now, but I’m taking a little break.

So, there’s that.

Also, I’ve been working on another site. Like the Canville Gardens (which I’ve neglected too long), this new site will also cover gardening. But, it’s not a blog. It’s much more interactive than a blog. Think Twitter. Think Facebook. It’s kind of like that.

The site is not yet ready for public view, but is open by invitation-only. If you’re interested in gardening (or house plants, window gardening, any type of plant growing (legal, that is)) and would like to be an early pioneer on the site, just send me an eMail (askdcr@dcrblogs.com) or leave a comment saying you’re interested. Thanks!

Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange… Paused

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Ever have one of those layered dreams? You know (I’m guessing), the ones where you have a dream within the dream sort of thing?

Last night’s dream had a backstory that happened before the dream. Apparently, I did something bad, only I didn’t realize it was bad. You know how sometimes you might say your friend Ted had such-and-such happen to him or whatever, only that it was really your friend Mary and you were simply trying to protect her privacy? Or, maybe Ted was really you. In either case, Ted isn’t a real person, and was merely a pseudonym meant to protect someone.

Apparently, I had done a blog post about Ted. Not a bad thing, right? No one in the blogosphere knows who Ted is, and no one knows that Ted is really Mary or Sue or you.

Apparently, though, it was a bad thing. Why? I don’t know. No one found out who Ted really was.

Anyway, that was the backstory of the dream. Complicated, I know. And I’ve had to surmise that because, throughout the dream, I really wasn’t sure what I had done that was so wrong.

So, there I was having a blogging party at my house. It was a party for bloggers, not for people to blog. And, only those bloggers that lived in relatively nearby states attended. Anyway, Michelle calls me out on the Ted thing. In a panic, I said Ted was real and was at the party.

Naturally, that was a dumb thing to do because where could Ted be hiding in the house and how could it be that no one had met him yet even though I insisted that he had just been there.

So, things go from bad and worse and now I’m some kind of blogging pariah.

At which point my cousin shows up with her family and, as a distraction, I decide to do a magnet hunt for the kids. Instead of hiding Easter eggs, I’d hide a tiny magnet and they’d need to find it. Only I didn’t hide the magnet until they had given up looking in the front room, then I hid it there, next to an electrical outlet where there was a stud.

At some point, they all vanished and then my father is giving me a stern talking to because he can’t believe that I did whatever I did with the whole Ted thing.

Then, I’m in bed trying to sleep and I can’t get to sleep because I’m thinking about the whole mess. And, yes, this is still part of the dream where I’m dreaming I’m awake trying to fall asleep. Layered dreams. And, I’m worried I’m going to have to quit blogging. But, then I’ve got all these other sites and I don’t know what I’m going to have to do. I might have to change my name or go into hiding or something.

Things are that bad.

And I still don’t know what I’ve done. Nobody even found out that Mary was Ted or whatever, so no one’s privacy has been compromised or anything.

So, then the next day, we’re eating hot dogs at a hot dog place and that’s when I decide to do a series of posts on dancing monkeys wearing shirts that are orange to distract everyone from whatever it was that I did.

The worst thing is that, when I wake up–for real–I still feel guilty for whatever it is that I did, only I didn’t even do it because it was all a dream.

Though I still had to go back to the pre-dancing monkey posts to see if I had mentioned a Ted…

Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange... Paused

Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange Taking the Day Off

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Here are the dancing monkeys wearing shirts that are orange taking the day off:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What? You don’t see them? That’s because they’re taking the day off. That means they wouldn’t pose in front of the camera. Which means all you get to see is white snow.

Well, I think the dancing monkeys deserved a break, don’t you? They’ve been dancing their little orange shirts and blue suits off the past several days, so why not give them a break for a while?

Maybe they’ll be back tomorrow. One never knows around here.

It’s like a zoo around here.

You know, with the dancing monkeys and all.

New Internet Meme: Where’s My Facebook Login?

Friday, February 12th, 2010

That’s the newest meme (I predict)… Leaving a comment on a blog that says something like, “This blog is cool and all, but where’s my Facebook login?” Or you can vary it up a bit.

Why? you ask.

Well, apparently, a number of people login to Facebook by going to Google, searching for “Facebook login” and clicking on the first result.

For a while, the first result was an article on the Facebook login.

So, people ended up at that article rather than at Facebook. Thus, there was no Facebook login. But, the site’s comment system let you login through Facebook, Twitter, OpenID, etc. to leave a comment.

People would sign in to the comment system and not get to Facebook, because, you know, the site isn’t Facebook. It seems some people just assumed Facebook redecorated… again.

The site later added a notice in bold lettering that they are, in fact, not Facebook.

So, now it can be a meme. This blog is great and all, but where’s my Facebook login?

(Found via TrekWeb.)

Ask dcr: String Theory

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

String Theory
String Theory: It’s What Did Captain Kirk In. Er, I Guess that was the Nexus. String Theory is Easier to Understand…

Today, I received an interesting question from Speedy: “Does string theory work better on the 10 dimensional model?”

That’s an easy one: Yes, depending upon the circumstances.

If you have a question, send it to: askdcr@dcrblogs.com. That address, of course, may change one day if I start getting a bunch of “Official [insert name of little blue pill]” junk mail.

Looks Like We Licked Global Warming

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Snow-Covered Bushes

Looks like we licked global warming. Congratulations everybody!

Guess Al Gore will have to find a new job. Maybe you’ll see him soon…

“Hi! I’m Al Gore. Welcome to Wal-Mart!”

Ask dcr: Multiple Questions

Monday, February 8th, 2010

As you know, I started this little “Ask dcr” segment two years ago. To date, it’s only been used once, when Pete asked “Why is American Cheese yellow?” Actually, there was another question that I think I never answered. Well, publicly anyway.

While there’s been no one asking questions in a long time, as of late, they suddenly started to pile in. So, I’ve developed a bit of a backlog of them. I’ll clear them out by answering them here.

First off, Jodie who signs her eMail as Ricky, has this question: “Please forgive us to disturb your precious time. We are … one of the biggest international trading wholesalers in China.We mainly sell electrical products. … Do you have a story that started on Hotmail? Tell us now.”

Please note that the question was edited for brevity. Anyway, thank you Jodie/Ricky for your question. As a matter of fact, no, I do not have a story that started on Hotmail. I do have stories that started as dreams and stories that started as scribbles on a notepad, but none that started on Hotmail.

Our next question comes from Caviar who asks “Es actual su sitio Web?” The answer is “Sí” which is something Caviar would probably realize if he visited this blog regularly.

Hadley asks “Do you want to have an access to a huge database of real, verified companies, looking to hire individuals willing to work at home?” Thanks for the question, Hadley. I’m not sure what I’d do with such a database. It’d probably just gather dust.

Finally, Collins writes: “I‘am sure this e-mail will get to you like a surprise but it’s true.
I’m at a routine check in my bank where I work; encountered in an account that has not been claimed, which is currently $ 14.300,000 ((Fourteen million U.S. Dollars) are credited….”

(Again, the message was edited for brevity.) This is quite a coincidence, Collins. I’m sorry about the unfortunate passing of your customer. Even though you expressed no explicit question, I felt I needed to respond to your message. By some coincidence, I happened to have recently lost $14,300,000. Just a few short months ago, I won that amount in an international lottery. Unfortunately, due to some clerical error, money was removed from my account instead of being put into it after I replied to the International Lottery commission with my account information. It just so happens that the amount taken from my account plus my lottery winnings plus the amount of interest I would have likely earned over the past few months is $14,300,000. So, I find it an extraordinary stroke of luck–not a surprise–that your message comes to me. I believe that your deceased client may have been the agent of the International Lottery that made the supposed clerical error on my account transaction. I see now that he took my money and my winnings and kept them for himself. I greatly appreciate you bringing this to my attention, Collins. If you could facilitate the transfer of these funds from your institution back to me, I would be greatly appreciative. In fact, I am willing to allow you to keep 20% of the $14,300,000 for your time and trouble in facilitating the transfer. You’ll understand, of course, if I am reluctant to transfer my account information. You never know who may be reading. You may, of course, remit these funds to me by a certified international money order or PayPal.

Send your questions to: askdcr@dcrblogs.com. That address, of course, may change one day if I start getting a bunch of “Official [insert name of little blue pill]” junk mail.

Disclaimer for the Humor-Impaired that May Be Employed by Government Agencies: This post is intended as humor, poorly implemented though it may be. I am not actually soliciting anyone to send me millions of dollars. I realize the message received is spam and a scam. Now, get off my blog and go do your freakin’ job by finding genuine criminals.

Purple Passion Flower (Surreal)

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Purple Passion Flower (Surreal)

This is what a purple passion flower looks like when there are no limits.

Maybe.

Anyway, Speedy did a Purple Friday this week, so I guess I’m two days behind. Or, maybe I’m a few days ahead.

Anyway, here are the rest of the players, as swiped from Speedy:

Not Really Purple Snowstorm
Speedy Cheats by Sneaking in His Own Post (from the Past)
Flying Purple Frogs (Do They Eat People?)
Butterflies and Spiny Spiders Who Eat Them
Purple Fairies

Snow Saturday

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

Snow.

Just a little bit. But heavy stuff.

And, of course, the snow blower wouldn’t start.

Took some pictures. Yeah, it’d be neat if I put some of them in this post, but the camera is in another room and I don’t feel like getting it. Normally, I’d go and get it, but I’m just doing my daily blog post, then it’s back to making dinner. I probably won’t be on later tonight because it’s game night.

Then again, I may be back late, late tonight, as in possibly early tomorrow.

Who knows?

Anyway, made two dips. One is a creamy salsa dip and the other is a bean dip. Once I finish up this post, I’m off to make Philly steak sandwiches.

Which I think will be, like, right now…

The Secrets of the Millionaire Blogger

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Today, I will share with you a method of earning $1,000,000 per year with your blog.

It’s an easy step by step procedure.

Step One: Find a way to earn $2,739.73 per day in profit on your blog.

Step Two: Keep it up and you’re done!

For $2,000,000 per year, just start a second blog and do the same thing.

Repeat as often as you wish.

Wait… What? You want me to tell you how to make $2,739.73 per day on your blog? Geesh. I’m not going to do all your work for you! If you can’t make the effort toward figuring out that minor detail, you don’t really want to make a million dollars a year blogging, do you?

Some people. You give them a step-by-step plan and they still aren’t willing to do the work necessary to bring the plan into fruition.

Well, I tried to help. You can lead a horse to water, but you just can’t make him drink, even if you push him in.

Shut up! It’s not a mirage! And sand can clean you as well as water anyway. Ever heard of sandblasting? That’ll clean things up. Don’t you watch Star Trek?