I saw this on one of the food channels. It may have been on an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, but I’m not sure.

Anyway, you put a hamburger patty in between two grilled cheese sandwiches.

No pictures, sorry.

You see, the two grilled cheese sandwiches serve as the bun, and the cheese is built-in! I used American cheese on one sandwich and Muenster cheese on the other.

Now, that’s good eats!

Found a link with a recipe, not that you really need a recipe. Just slap a hamburger patty between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Top as desired. How hard is that?

At any rate, here’s a recipe: The Grilled Cheese Cheeseburger.

I worry that at some point JD is going to kill me.

(A) I keep pre-emptively stealing titles from her (two in this post alone!)

and

(B) I occasionally refer to her as Zelda.

Actually, on that last point, she gave me exclusive permission. But, she might have been kidding. Who can tell, really? At any rate, if when she goes batpoop crazy, she’ll probably forget that anyway, so it won’t matter if she gave permission or not.

So, you may one day see a headline like this:

Blogger Kills Blogger Over Post Title

And all her neighbors will say, “She was such a quiet woman. Kept to herself.” Except for one neighbor that’ll be on all the TV stations saying, “I knew she was crazy!”

Of course, they’ll probably go with a more scandalous title. Maybe something like:

Nudist Slays Man Over Fungus

That’ll bring in the readers. People will want to know what that’s about. Maybe they’ll even try:

Revenge of Zelda!

Oh, wait. I may be thinking of Yar’s Revenge. I always wanted that game. Never played it. I think it just looked cool in some commercial. I don’t remember the commercial though.

I had a friend that had the game. I told him that if he ever wanted to get rid of it, I’d buy it from him. Guess what? He eventually gave it away. No, not to me! He forgot about me!

I don’t talk to him anymore.

No, silly, not because of the game. You were thinking that, weren’t you? No. It was for other reasons. My fault mostly. Probably. Does it matter? All water under the bridge.

He lived by a canal, by the way. Seriously. No, not really. Close though, but in a completely different kind of way.

Anyway, you can see I’ve lost focus. I should read my article, “3 Exercises to Improve Your Focus.” Or, maybe you should go read it. If I go read it, I’ll just get distracted again, and you’ll never find out why I ate fungus.

So, anyway, last night, which was actually tonight as I’m writing this at what will have been last night when you’re reading this–don’t you love temporal mechanics?–I went to the local Chinese buffet with my father.

I wanted to have the authentic Chinese restaurant experience, so I started out by ordering that Chinese beverage classic: Coca-Cola.

Then, I got some wonton soup. Except that there are no wontons in the soup, as I have always believed should be in wonton soup. Silly me. No, the wontons are in a separate dish, drying out, even though the lid is on. They’re just not as soft as they would be were they actually in the soup broth, which is where you might expect them to be.

Mind you, before I got to the soup, I may have cut in line in front of someone else. Kind of hard to tell, really. People are going in all different directions, so who really knows who cut in front of who. I was at the particular buffet table first, but the other person was nearer the wonton soup first. At any rate, I wound up getting wonton soup first. I felt bad for a bit, then I felt much worse later after I ate too much from the buffet. It could be karma, or it could be that I just lose all sense of self-control at the buffet, since I usually feel overstuffed at the end of the evening.

Anyway, so you put your wontons in your bowl and then pour the broth over them. Then, you put the bowl at your table and leave it there while you go in search of more goodies. That way, the wontons can soak and soften up a bit before you eat them.

So, then I head back to the buffet to sample some more traditional Chinese cuisine. So, I filled my plate with some Caesar salad, seafood salad, a deviled egg and some sushi. I think it was vegetarian sushi. There’s only been one time at this buffet where I could see that the sushi actually had raw fish. I think that was earlier this year. I was so excited. It may have been the highlight of my dining out experiences this year. Unless it was last year. Anyway, so I ate raw fish and I didn’t get sick or die. So, I’m chalking that up as a good time.

Anyway, once I finished my sushi-that-probably-wasn’t, I went back for more. Scratch that. First I finished off my wonton soup, then I went up for more food. This time around, I grabbed more Chinese favorites: chicken wings, chicken fingers, corn nuggets and imitation crab meat wrapped in bacon. Oh, and some vegetable fried rice. I think I had sesame chicken on that go around too.

And, you absolutely must get the imitation crab meat wrapped in bacon. For one thing, it’s bacon. That’s right, bacon. It may be imitation crab meat, but it’s real bacon. At least I know it wasn’t a Beggin’ Strip. No, it was bacon. Dogs may not know that Beggin’ Strips aren’t bacon, but I know they’re not and I also know that this bacon was bacon. And, for the other thing, they come on a stick. Namely, a toothpick. And that toothpick will come in handy after eating all the chicken.

Mind you, lest you think I’m having a real big feast here, I just took a little bit of each. I had learned my lesson–or so I thought–from prior adventures here, so I try to keep portions small while enjoying a wide sampling.

The next trip, I naturally gravitated to some more traditional Chinese fare, such as General Tso’s Chicken, hot and spicy chicken, crab rangoon, a spring roll and, of course, a corn dog. Mind you, the corn dog wasn’t a corn dog. It was wrapped in a roll rather than corn bread. Oh, and they didn’t call it a corn dog either. I also grabbed another deviled egg, because they were good.

And, that would have been the end of my eating, especially after the hot and spicy chicken. On that note, the chicken pieces were small, almost like frog legs. And, since frog legs taste like chicken, it’s possible that it was hot and spicy frog legs even though the sign said hot and spicy chicken. Who would know? At any rate, after my mouth was burning from the hot and spicy frog legs, which I saved for last (why, why, why?), I wasn’t going to eat any more.

I wanted to go back and have one more bit of food, one more slice of classic Chinese cuisine that I could blog about. That, of course, was pizza. But, alas, I had to pass up on pizza. I was too full to have another bite of food.

Actually, I wasn’t too full. I was comfortably full. And, I did not intend to leave overstuffed as I have been prone to do in the past. I was proud of my self-control.

Except that I was tempted by some more wonton soup. So, I got just a little more. One wonton and a little broth. Half a cup of soup. That’s all! And a fried noodle. And, while I was up there, I looked at the hot and sour soup, which listed five ingredients. Hmm, temptation.

So, anyway, the original title of this blog post was going to be “I Cut in Line So You Don’t Have to”, but then as I’m blogging this post in my head, I’m thinking that’s not the most interesting of titles, you know?

Which brings me back to the ingredients.

I knew that I had to go back to get a little bit of hot and sour soup, just so I would have a better title for this blog post. Yes, I suffered so you can benefit by reading a more interesting title. Mind you, the content of this post may have bored you to tears, but the title’s pretty good so, darn it!, you better appreciate the sacrifice I made for you!

The ingredients for the hot and sour soup were as follows: chicken, mushroom, fungus, bamboo and tofu.

You know, if they had just said “fungus” I would naturally have assumed they meant “mushroom”. After all, mushrooms are fungus. But, no, they had to separate the two. Evidently, this soup has mushroom fungus and fungus fungus, I’m guessing.

Which is why I had to eat a half a cup of hot and sour soup (which was, incidentally, hot and sour–not quite as hot as the hot and spicy frog legs chicken but hot), just so that I could blog that I ate fungus so you don’t have to.

Oh, and I had three more fried noodles with the soup.

And then a fortune cookie.

Compare the “Sell By” date with the “Use/frz By” date…

Evidently, you have more time to buy it than you have to use it.

Yes, I know it is Sunday, but yesterday was Saturday and this was Saturday’s dinner, and “Saturday Supper” sounded better than “Yesterday’s Dinner.” Though, Yesterday’s Diner sounds like a good name for a diner.

Apparently, I’m not the only one that thinks that, because there already is a Yesterday’s Diner. They even serve quesadillas! What are the odds?

You see, I’m on the cutting edge of yesteryear!

Anyway, back to Saturday’s supper…

In the middle, we start with some flank steak. Sure, it should be in strips, but it’s so tender it just pulled apart real easily when cutting. Still delicious, though it didn’t have the kick I usually have with my flank steak. I think I left something out, but not sure what. Still good though.

In the back are homemade guacamole and homemade nacho chips. The chips were slightly overdone. Not as bad as Friday’s attempt, and today I finally got the timing figured out. Anyway, they were almost done yesterday, when I turned off the oven. I left them in there while I cut the flank steak, and I guess I took a little too long cutting the meat. Anyway, they were a little more golden brown than was really necessary. But, they weren’t burnt, so they still tasted fine. The appearance is more of an issue than the taste.

On the sides is a quesadilla, cut into four sections. Looks like one on either side of the plate, but there are two on either side. With the way I stacked them (and then added the sour cream), it looks like two, but there are four. They were stuffed with cheese and a simple salsa.

In the back left corner is a Cherry Coke.

So, that was dinner. And breakfast/lunch (brunch?) today was a quesadilla and some more chips, made fresh. This time, I got the timing right! Nice and crunchy, not too golden brown. Finished off the rest of the guacamole, though I will probably make some more tonight. Maybe.

Tonight’s supper, as if you care but you’ve read this far, is wings!

And maybe some more chips. Probably.

Maybe a quesadilla too. Maybe not. Maybe I’ll go have one now… Maybe I’ll try one with some of the leftover flank steak and cheese.

Home Made Nachos!

Refried Beans!

Home Made Enchiladas!

For more photos, visit Wordless Wednesday.

I have inwented green tea. Or is that, I hawe inwented green tea? How would Chekov say “have”? I don’t remember. Odd that he doesn’t call himself Chekow.

Anyway, so I have invented green tea. It’s not green tea, but black iced tea. But, wait, it’s not completely iced tea. For one thing, there is no ice, since the water was chilled so I didn’t really need ice. No, this is half tea and half limeade.

It’s like an Arnold Palmer, but using limeade instead of lemonade.

I would have put green food coloring in it, for the effect for the camera, but I didn’t have any.

As mentioned in the previous post, I will make strange images for you. One hundred bucks. Maybe more. Then I will buy food coloring and post some real green tea. Maybe I’ll even use green tea and make it green. Maybe I’ll make iced tea with green tea then add limeade and then add food coloring and put it in a recycled glass and it will be green all the way around.

Oh, yes, I’m sure someone already invented this Lime Palmer or Arnold Limer? Hmm. You see why I went with green tea? Anyway, I’ll be like Al Gore and claim I invented it. Then I’ll hop on a plane with my green tea to warn everyone of the dangers of not going green. Just don’t inhale the exhaust from the jet engine. That’s not green, though maybe it’ll turn your lungs green. No, I think you’ll get black lung. Wait, jets aren’t coal-powered. I don’t know what color your lungs will be, but it can’t be good. Anyway, please send money so I can buy myself a jet to fly around the world to warn about the dangers of flying around the world. Thanks.

This is my recipe, for whatever that may be worth. I’m calling it “Texas Buckeye Brisket” because it’s kind of a mixture of Texas and midwestern brisket recipes, plus my own ideas tossed in. It’s pretty simple, really.

Anyway, before the whole Twitter phishing mess, I had asked my followers on Saturday for any suggestions for a good brisket recipe.

I got recipe links and suggestions from @Vicki_Kunkel, @awakeinroch, @ReikiAwakening, @stephenfung, @PamperedMommy and @RoyalDook.

Anyway, I wound up mixing and matching ideas to come up with my own recipe.

Ingredients:
Brisket (I used 1 lb.)
Coca-Cola (about 6 oz.)
Salt (to taste)
Black Pepper (to taste)
Liquid Smoke (splash the brisket real good)
Dried Tarragon (tablespoon or two?)
Thinly Sliced Garlic (I used two large cloves)
Sliced Onion (enough to cover the brisket in a single layer of slices)
Sliced Carrot (just sliced some up and toss ‘em in)
Celery Seed (no idea, maybe a couple teaspoons)
Steak Sauce (enough to cover the brisket)

Directions:
I used a roasting pan lined the inside with aluminum foil for easy clean-up. I poured about 6 oz. of Coca-Cola on the bottom of the pan. The brisket fit nicely in the pan; it was just the right size.

I placed the brisket in the pan. I seasoned it with a little salt and pepper. Then, I splashed it with some liquid smoke. After that, I added some tarragon. This would be a good time to add the celery seed too, though I didn’t. And, it would have made more sense to splash the brisket with the liquid smoke first before adding the seasonings so that they wouldn’t get washed off. I was careful though.

Next, I added the garlic slices. On top of that went the onions, then the carrots. And then I added the celery seed but, as I mentioned, you should probably do that earlier.

After all that, I poured steak sauce over the top of the brisket and vegetables. I used A-1 Steak Sauce, but you can, of course, use your preferred type.

Then, I covered the roasting pan and placed it in a preheated oven at 300°F.

Cook until done.

I had a one pound brisket and cooked for about 3 hours. No, I don’t have any detailed measurements of anything, aside from the brisket and Coke, which I only know because I used about half a 12 oz. bottle.

Anyway, it was very good.

Weight loss is something that’s on the minds of millions of Americans. According to various reports, over 60% of Americans are overweight or obese.

Naturally, politicians are quick to jump on the “epidemic” and offer their own “solutions” to the problem, from proposing taxes on “unhealthy” foods to legislating what goes into our foods and so on. Of course, politicians will always help us to blame someone else for our problems, rather than point the finger directly at us and the choices we as individuals make, because that kind of honesty could cost them votes.

It’s much easier to blame McDonald’s.

Some people will blame the growing use of high fructose corn syrup in place or cane sugar or other sweeteners. But, the claim that high fructose corn syrup is more readily converted to fat in humans has not been proven.

Eating a Big Mac is not going to kill you. Eating a Big Mac value meal with fries and a Coke–Supersize me!–is not going to kill you either.

Eating that everyday, probably not such a good idea.

Too much of anything can be bad. You can die from drinking too much water too. The key is moderation, and that’s something many people have problems with. Eat a few potato chips, not the whole “family” size bag, for example. Eat one or two cookies, not the whole box. And so on.

But, the larger problem, I think, is the lack of exercise. Both adults and kids these days live relatively sedentary lives. Instead of going outside to play, kids stay inside playing video games. More and more adults work at jobs where they sit in front of computers all day. Then, kids and adults come home from school or work, and spend most of the evening watching TV, playing video games or surfing the Internet.

You can cut calories all you want, and doing so can stop you from gaining more weight, but in order to lose the weight, some amount of exercise is necessary. (Of course, consult your doctor before starting an exercise regimen.)

People need to get out more. Take a walk. Play catch. Whatever. Just spend more time being active.

And, that’s something posting calorie counts on the on menu boards isn’t going to solve.

That’s something taxing “unhealthy” food is not going to solve.

Best thing is to tell the politicians to stuff it, and handle the problem ourselves. Maybe run the self-serving politicians out of town. Grab your torches and pitchforks!

At least that would be exercise.

See the little empty hole? Where the cheese has been pushed aside a little bit from the sauce? It is clear a slice of pepperoni was right there. Any half-way decent detective worth his salt could tell you that.

But, who stole it? It was sealed in plastic and it was missing before I opened it. There were no signs of tampering. It must have been stolen at the factory, either before it was shrink-wrapped or it was shrink-wrapped, opened and re-shrink-wrapped. Who knows what goes through the criminal mind?

All I want to know is where my missing slice of pepperoni is!

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. You think it just slid over to where the pepperoni is doubled up. But, you would be wrong. That’s obviously extra pepperoni. You still haven’t accounted for the missing slice!

Do you suppose the pepperoni thief felt guilty and added that extra slice? We’ll never know unless we catch this scoundrel!

How about you? Have you been a victim of this thief? Maybe we can pool our resources and put together a reward for his (or her) capture.

Translation: “Nope, you cannot have my bone.”