Have you read Dan's Lame Novel today?
Home Follow Me on Twitter Join Me on Canville Subscribe to My Feed

Archive for the ‘Off the Wall’ Category

Bear This In Mind

Tuesday, April 18th, 2017


Return of the Film Noir Banana

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Film Noir Banana 1682


Not seen since the “I Take Pictures of a Banana So You Don’t Have To” incident over three years ago, the Film Noir Banana Pistol has made its return.

What has it been up to? Was it in the hands of our heroic detective or our duplicitous villain?

Who knows? Only time will tell.

Snow Planet Redux

Monday, February 6th, 2012

Since I’m fresh out of ideas for today, I will recycle a post in its partiality.

Snow Planet

This image was from March 14, 2010, entitled “Snow Planet.”

There’s no planet like Snow Planet that’s no planet at all.

Winter Snow Flashback

Thursday, December 8th, 2011

Falling Elf

Here’s a flashback from December 08, 2007: “Winter Snow.”

Would It Be Safe to Stay in the Basement if the World Ends?

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

Would it be safe to stay in the basement if the world ends?

That was apparently a popular question last month.

The answer, of course, depends on how the world ends.

Now, according to one preacher, the world was supposed to experience the Rapture last month. Well, in case of Rapture, staying in the basement isn’t going to prevent anything. God will find you. The point of the Rapture is to save people from the end of the world, so being raptured would be safer than staying in your basement.

On the other hand, if aliens come to Earth and begin abducting people in a Rapture-like fashion, then your basement may or may not be safe, depending upon the sophistication of their sensors and transportation technologies.

If the world ends in a flood, staying in the basement will likely not be safe, unless you have a waterproof basement with doors with waterproof seals and all that, which is likely not standard issue in most homes.

If the world ends in severe winds, you may be safe in your basement.

If an asteroid hits the Earth, you’ll be safe in your basement, unless, of course, it’s a direct hit, in which case, you’ll be flatter than a sheet of paper whether you were outside, upstairs or in the basement.

If the Earth explodes, staying in your basement will not be safe.

If the world ends due to a nuclear, biological or chemical attack, you may be safe in your basement if it has been sufficiently secured against such things. Various instructions for turning your basement into an effective shelter under such circumstances are widely available online, including old government resources from the 1950′s and 1960′s.

If the world ends due to a zombie apocalypse, you may be safe in your basement, if you can secure the doors and windows and if your zombified relatives and neighbors don’t have the key.

If the world ends due to a gamma ray burst, you may be safe in your basement, but it won’t much matter because everything on the surface of the Earth will be dead and you’ll probably starve to death as soon as your food supplies run out.

If the world ends due to the sun dying or going supernova or whatever, your basement will not be safe because you’ll either freeze to death or fry to a crisp.

Of course, the end of the world is the end of the world, and your basement is part of the world. So, if the world ends, so does your basement. Generally, though, when people talk about the end of the world, they probably mean the almost end of the world, as in the end of civilization as we know it, and not the end end. Because the end end is the end end, you know?

So, the bottom line is, whether or not you’ll be safe in your basement if the world ends will depend largely on how the world ends.