Hey, everybody!

It’s Monday night!

It’s time for red lines!

That’s bananas!

Yeah, I don’t get it either.

Apparently, the banana phaser photo below ranks on page 3 of Google Images in a search for “banana is scared photos.”

Okay, wait… There’s something in in the way so it won’t fit…

Hold please…

Banana phaser…

Banana is scared photo?

Okay, here we are…

It is #1 in a search for banana phaser photos, but no one searches for that.

Still, I’m not sure I see the connection between “banana is scared” and “banana phaser.” In fact, the only place “scared” is even mentioned is in JD’s comment.

You would think that, if a banana is a phaser, it wouldn’t be scared of anything. After all, it’s armed!

Then again, it could be afraid of being set into overload…

Well, JD says my comments are blog posts disguised as comments, so I decided maybe I ought to try to make a blog post out of them.

But, since you’ve already (maybe) read them, I have to mix things up a bit. Literally.

The last time I had a shot, I think it was like two weeks, maybe one, before the injection site stopped hurting. So, you know, I don’t believe them when they say it won’t hurt. Oh, it’ll hurt. It’ll hurt going in. It’ll hurt coming out. It’ll hurt for the next several days.

You could always freeze them. Maybe rent a freeze-drier, and freeze-dry those puppies, er, pupaes. Then, coat them in chocolate. Maybe dark chocolate? What sort of chocolate do you think goes with pupae? Maybe chocolate mixed with a dash of cayenne pepper. There we go. Freeze-dry the pupae, dash some cayenne pepper on them, cover them with chocolate and chow down!

Never trust anyone who says “This won’t hurt a bit.”

If you don’t want the expense of renting a freeze-dryer, maybe you could just cook them up. Maybe dry roast them. Then sprinkle on the cayenne pepper, cover in chocolate and enjoy.

I remember one particular needle, long ago, that was about six inches long. I swear. It was going in my foot. I asked how much of it was going into my foot. The doctor said the whole thing. I swear it should have come out the other side.

I wonder if there’s a box of mixed chocolates that has nothing but chocolate covered insects? There’d be a surprise in every box, I bet! No one will be complaining about getting coconut or that one kind of fudge that no one likes but there’s always two of except you think there’s only one, so when someone else got it, you thought you were safe until you wound up with one stuck in your teeth too, and you worried you might just pull out a tooth chewing on that thing, but you didn’t have any other choice but to chew it, so you just had to kind of hope for the best and maybe take a drink of something to water it down, but make sure it was a dark drink, otherwise you want to be extra careful not to get any backwash, because that would be disgusting to see chocolate fudge colored saliva floating around in your 7-Up, so then you finally chewed it all up and went for another candy to get that taste out of your mouth.

But, at least it kept me out of gym class for a while. Could have been a while longer if I had been willing to let the doctor write the note for longer than it needed to be, but, no, I decided to be honest. Why? I ask, why? It’s not like gym class is doing me any particular good right now. I don’t even remember that gym class, so what life lessons did I learn there? Instead, I could have had some extra time not participating in things I didn’t particularly care to participate in and don’t even remember these many years later. I could have spent more time doing whatever it was I was doing during that period where I couldn’t participate because of the doctor’s note. But, I don’t remember that either. So, what was the point of gym class? I don’t know. I think it was so that some politicians could pat themselves on the back, thinking they’re doing something good for us. So much for that. Crooked politicians.

And then you wound up with the coconut.

It’d be like that, except you’d end up with grasshopper stuck in your teeth and instead of coconut, you’d get the pupa.

You can read the original comments here and here.

This is something that only happens once a century and even then you have to have the right conditions and the right angle, so it’s very rare indeed. The moon has to reflect itself, twice, onto clouds in the sky. So, if you have a clear sky, you’re not going to see this.

You might have to adjust the brightness or contrast on your computer if the image is too dark. Neat-o-o-o.

For more photos, visit Wordless Wednesday.

Blue moon:
You saw me sanding a bone,
Without a creamy Pop-Tart,
Without a stove out on loan.

Blue moon:
You know just what it was, therefore
You heard me sanding a pear for
Its skin was really tough before.

And then there suddenly was peeled before tea
The only pear that was foretold.
I heard somebody whimper “Please please peel me.”
And when I looked to you, moon, it burned so cold.

Blue moon:
Now it’s no longer a bone.
It’s just a broken wishbone,
Without a turkey for loan.

A sky beetle says what?

What?

A sky beetle says what?

What?

A sky beetle says what?

Um, hello?

So thus ends the dialogue with the sky beetle. We take the time to thank the sky beetle for deep thoughts on a busy Tuesday. Thank you, sky beetle. Thank you for sharing your wisdom of the ages. Please come again.

What?

There’s almost no fooling Deborah.

She guessed that the “Lesions of Followers” image was of lesions on a brown leaf.

She was mostly right.

They were actually pink lesions on a green leaf.

I used Photoshop to adjust the green to make it a skin tone color. So, it could have been lesions on a palm or sole, but, nope, Deborah still recognized it as a leaf.

So, Deborah wins the envy of her fellow blog reader. Congratulations, Deborah, Michelle now envies you.

Be careful what you wish for.

I wanted legions of followers.

Instead, I got lesions of followers.

Anyway, so let’s see who can correctly guess where these lesions are and what they are. Answer in the comments! The first person to correctly answer will be the envy of their peers. Maybe.

Designation: 2 of 2

Resistance is futile! Even the spiders will be assimilated!

See Sunday’s blog post on the Daring Jumping Spider to read more about this spider.

Would you tango for two to hang out at the zoo? Would you sit down and play the wazoo?

Could you have and hold a great silver mold and use it to make something bold?

Would you leech at the beach and get sand in your feech and make foodle wagoogle ga goo?

Oh, I get by with a lil’ help from Google trends. I get by with a lil’ help from steel with the bends.

Would you bloogle a woogle to sooth a noodle if it meant soggy soup for the stew?

Would you be happy for one month or two? Would you take it to the corner wagoo?

Oh, it’s sad to be mad when you’re glad for a lad who had a supper for new.

Would you wear a wooden shoe to make tulips for you if you had a flower factory? Would it be satisfactory to the olfactory or would you close to make a moo?

Hoodles of doodles and goodles of moodles say you cannoo cachoo cachoo. Want to, do you, do you?

Would you get trippy with a hippy to drink from a sippy and act all pippy when you start to feel tippy and start to feel nippy and more than a little mippy when you can’t get a grippy when your friend gets lippy and falls off the shippy and you feel zippy so you run with a wippy and make up a quippy as you unload a frippy bippy doo?

Would you, would you, for two?

Life is like an ol’ box of chocolates, with nothing but wrappers and half-chewed rejected candies and goo. Would you like two? One for me and one for you? But you can have mine. That would be fine, as I don’t need a line in the sand for a moggle of pine.

Could you decipher a cypher concealed in the hide of a heifer or would you need an inspection of a lifer who escaped from the jailer and never paid bail–or would you take the cow’s word as a moo?

Who would go crazy for a bag of lazy if it were maize-y and blue? Would that be a clue to get potluck stew and serve it when you’re feeling hazy and quite like a daisy who fell from a sill to the flue? Please send a SASE if you’d like a raise-y or send the dollar of two, down at the zoo, where penguins are too, woo woo wooey woo.

Do you want to maintain focus or be like a crocus and gone when the summer comes due? If it’s focus you want, begin by putting that focus on something you like, like a lion and a moon bat at the zoo. Or maybe a car or that girl at the bar. Or maybe just the brightest star.

You put that focus, no hocus pocus, on that thing that you like, oh, so-so. Once you can keep that image in mind, hold it for as long as you can. Keep holding, keep holding and keep on trucking, and see how long you can keep that image in mind. But don’t go off the road or you’ll get fined!

Sparklies! Sparklies! Who likes the sparklies?

And once you have the focus and once you’ve lost the focus, keep track of the time. Resolve to do better next time. You just have to keep practicing, as much as you can. Over time, you’ll see that your focus will improve. You’ll be able to keep those images in mind longer and longer. Yes, you can!

And then the health care system will get all screwed over and you’ll wait in line just for an appointment and you’ll never be treated on time. But, it’s okay. You’ll be fine, until they deny the service you need because you’re not worth it. You’re just a number. When you’re gone, there’ll be another in line.

But keep your focus and keep practicing to hold it. Once you’ve achieved satisfactory results, move on to concentrating on things that are less liked by you. Pick things you find boring and uninspiring. Like Mr. Teleprompter. Try to focus on those things and keep practicing.

Through the course of your life, you’ll have many occasions where you’ll need to focus on tasks that are unpleasant or just nauseatingly boring. But, it will be important to focus, so focus you must! So, to be ready when the time is at hand, it’s best to be in practice. So, practice away! Always practice! Keep it up! When ever you have a spare moment, practice! Like, when you’re waiting in line to get some cough medicine and Dr. Gov tells you it’ll be a two week wait.

Oooh, sparklies!