From time to time–and by “time to time” I mean on a quite regular basis–we get eMails from SEO companies wanting to help us increase our online visibility.

Here’s are parts of one I just received:

“My name is [HIS NAME] and I’m researching the online visibility of [NOT OUR TOWN] small businesses.

“I came across [OUR COMPANY NAME] ([NOT OUR STREET ADDRESS]) on search engines and yellow pages sites listed under categories such as [OUR BUSINESS CATEGORIES].

“You can check out your business online visibility report, including an analysis of your business compared to your competitors and explore your options for improving your business’s online presence.”

…

“Why are we contacting you?

“While researching businesses in [NOT OUR TOWN], we came across your business and contact email and thought you would be interested in getting some free tips and advice. If you wish, you may unsubscribe below.”

Stupid SEO spammers.  Maybe if they had actually bothered to look at our website, they would have seen we are not at the street address they indicated, nor are we in the town they indicated.  Heck, we’re not even in the same state the town is in!  On top of that, we’re on the opposite side of the country too!

I’m pretty sure I don’t want their advice if they can’t be bothered with learning such basic details before contacting us.

And, if they are using a script to compile the information and send the eMail, their script isn’t very good, which probably means other scripts used in the performance of their service also are not very good.

Also, I bet our online visibility isn’t very good in [NOT OUR TOWN] because we’re not actually in that town. You think?

Well, that was a strange spam… Either the spammers are getting desperate or someone’s trying to be innovative.

At any rate, judging from the subject of a spam message I just received, apparently they have a medicine now that’ll help men in the bedroom plus fight the swine flu (H1N1).

I wonder if they call it Tamiviagra? (Tamiflu + Viagra — Ugh, if I have to explain it, it’s not funny anymore.)

Anyway, I suspect it was just their sneaky way of trying to get people to click the link in the eMail to visit their website.

In which case, it didn’t work on me.

Oh, and I just received another spam message trying to sell Viagra (or fake Viagra–who knows really?). You know, if you want men to go to your website to buy Viagra, maybe you ought not to have “laugh” in your domain name. Just saying.