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Archive for the ‘Spam Talk’ Category

Silly Spammer

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017

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Oh, silly spammer. You fail.

First, you’re pretending to be a law firm. I would imagine a legitimate law firm would, um, you know, buy a license for whatever software they are using, especially if it were to go out with that warning embedded at the top and bottom of every eMail. Wouldn’t give your client a very good impression of you, would it?

Especially if you’re charging them thousands of dollars in legal fees and you can’t be bothered to buy a software license. Or, you know, maybe use software that’s free or less expensive?

Second, I’m guessing spamming can’t be too lucrative if you can’t afford to buy a software license for your mail software.

Third . . . “I found your name in some of his documents and that is why I traced your email through an advanced search.” If that were true, why is my name mentioned nowhere in the message and the message is addressed to “Dear [my eMail address]“?

Oh, silly spammer. You fail.

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Silly Domain Name Auction Spammers

Saturday, June 8th, 2013

Received two of these messages today…

“We are letting you know that [***domain-name-redacted***] will be listed for auction soon. This domain should be very useful for you, since you have a domain very similar to this one.”

In fact, I had that very same domain name that they were offering to me.

It wasn’t very useful for me, which is why I let it expire.

Silly spammers. If they knew how to use their database, they might exclude the previous owner of the domain. If the previous owner let it expire, it is probably because either the previous owner didn’t want it anymore, thus making a pitch that it would be “very useful” to them moot, or the previous owner didn’t realize it had expired, in which case you could send them an eMail alerting them that their domain had expired, was going up for auction and, if they wanted a chance at getting it back, they better hurry!

But, that would probably require effort and some degree of intelligence and spammers don’t have no time for that, do they?

For Attracting the Gratitude of the Spammers

Sunday, May 26th, 2013

This can be very helpful for many people. I found your post to be very useful and informative. I have bookmarked your site and will visit much often. Great work! I looked up this site for help with my homework and found all the useful information needed right here. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Does it take a lot of time to put together a blog like this? I would like to start my own blog but don’t know where to start. What advice would you offer? But did you know that your site does not load in Internet Explorer? Internet Explorer is still the king of the hill. Great work?

What was that all about? Well, those are the kinds of spam comments I get on this blog and I think it will be funny when those same types of comments get posted on this post. Hehehe…

Comment Spammers are Amusing

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

Amusing and stupid.

Occasionally, I dig through the unapproved comments, looking for any legitimate comments that may have gone to spam. I probably don’t do this as often as I should but the majority of comments are spam anyway.

A recent comment was someone asking advice for blogging. They wanted to know if running a blog such as mine required a lot of work. Um, does it look like I put a lot of work into this blog? Most of the time, I’m virtually phoning it in. A real person would realize that. A spambot will just post whatever recycled nonsense it has to try to trick the unwary into approving their post, or hoping that comments are unmoderated and their comment (and link) will go up right away.

Sorry, Charlie. No luck for you on that!

The supposed commenter goes on to mention how he’d like to start a blog of his own and would like my advice.

Hmm. If you’ve not yet started a blog, how is it that you had a URL to a blog post in your comment?

Sorry, spambot. That ain’t gonna fly ’round here.

And, yes, I am allowed to use poor grammar and spelling when it’s intentional and I just wanna do it.

Which brings to mind another comment mentioning how great my blog is, but completely unreadable due to the high quantity of spelling and grammatical errors. Um, excuse me, aside from when I intenshunally (<– like that) make such errors, this blog is mostly spelling-error free. I may run fast and free with some of the rules of grammar, but my posts are still readable. Mostly. The bottom line is that this blog is not riddled with spelling errors. I taek grate pryde in making shur I speil things correktly, u know, so dunt u be tellin’ me my blog posts be riddlin’ wit arrows ’cause that just ain’t tru at all, k? I just love the ones that promise they are bookmarking my blog and will come to visit it again often. Yeah, right. I especially love it when they praise one of my less than substantive posts, which are still quite frequent despite the New Year’s Resolution to do better. At any rate, most of them come not from real people but from little bots sent out across the innerwebs to plague blog owners with blithering nonsense in the hopes of promoting their silly links for sites no one wants to visit and products no one really cares to buy. The only plus is that they occasionally bring us amusement.

Stupid SEO Spammers

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

From time to time–and by “time to time” I mean on a quite regular basis–we get eMails from SEO companies wanting to help us increase our online visibility.

Here’s are parts of one I just received:

“My name is [HIS NAME] and I’m researching the online visibility of [NOT OUR TOWN] small businesses.

“I came across [OUR COMPANY NAME] ([NOT OUR STREET ADDRESS]) on search engines and yellow pages sites listed under categories such as [OUR BUSINESS CATEGORIES].

“You can check out your business online visibility report, including an analysis of your business compared to your competitors and explore your options for improving your business’s online presence.”

“Why are we contacting you?

“While researching businesses in [NOT OUR TOWN], we came across your business and contact email and thought you would be interested in getting some free tips and advice. If you wish, you may unsubscribe below.”

Stupid SEO spammers.  Maybe if they had actually bothered to look at our website, they would have seen we are not at the street address they indicated, nor are we in the town they indicated.  Heck, we’re not even in the same state the town is in!  On top of that, we’re on the opposite side of the country too!

I’m pretty sure I don’t want their advice if they can’t be bothered with learning such basic details before contacting us.

And, if they are using a script to compile the information and send the eMail, their script isn’t very good, which probably means other scripts used in the performance of their service also are not very good.

Also, I bet our online visibility isn’t very good in [NOT OUR TOWN] because we’re not actually in that town. You think?