Have you read Dan's Lame Novel today?
Home Follow Me on Twitter Join Me on Canville Subscribe to My Feed

Archive for the ‘Yagobekime’ Category

Home Sale Prevention

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

So, your spouse wants to move, but you don’t.

So, when the the real estate agent shows your home, make sure to have some of these bones scattered in the basement and in areas of the house where they shouldn’t look but you know they will.

Problem solved. No one will want to buy your house.

Of course, there may be some uncomfortable interaction with the police, forensic crews tearing up your basement floor and some unexpected digging in the backyard, which may ruin your landscaping and also result in getting served divorce papers by your spouse.

But at least you won’t have to move.

Unless you lose your house in the divorce.

You really should think these things through first. But, while you ponder it over, go ahead and order yourself a bag of bones. You might decide you need them after all. If nothing else, they will be awesome for Halloween.

Get yours here: Anatomical Chart Co. Bags of Bones Item #: BONES1

2012 Rescue Plan

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Stop worrying about the end of the world in December 2012!

Be prepared with this UFO-02 Detector. With this handy detector, you’ll know when a UFO is passing overhead so you can run outside and try to hitch a ride to safety.

Buy one for the office too.

For that matter, you should have one in your car too.

Be prepared where ever you are!

Unless, of course, the aliens will be the ones to destroy us in 2012, in which case, if your UFO detector goes off, just run. Run, dang you, run! Your life may depend on it! Get away from the UFO! Run! Run! RUN!!!

Get it here now: UFO-02 Detector

Interactive Cat Toy for the Passive Owner

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Back in the old days, if you wanted to play with your kitty, you’d have to take a length of string and pull it across the floor.

This involved walking and arm movement, which could result in sore legs and pulled arm muscles. Occasionally, the cat would manage to get the string out of your hand, and you’d have to bend over to the floor and pick it up. Maybe even chase after it for a bit.

Fortunately, this old-fashioned and strenuous method of playing with your cat was replaced with the convenience and ease of laser pointers.

With laser pointers, you could just sit in the comfort of your chair, and make the cat run round and round the room. You never had to walk and you never had to pull an arm muscle. Plus, the cat could never “catch” the laser, so you’d never have to bend over and pick up anything.

But, still, it was tough work. Your wrist might get tired or a depression may form on your thumb from pressing the button.

For years, cat owners have been crying out for a better way… And here it is!

With the FroliCat BOLT Interactive Laser Pet Toy, you just set it on the floor and forget about it! It will automatically move the laser round and round for kitty to chase.

It can keep your cat occupied for hours. You can sit comfortably and watch, never having to even move a finger! Or, you could walk away. Kitty won’t care. Kitty is trying to catch the red dot!

Take back your life and stop straining your wrist and thumb!

Get it here now: FroliCat BOLT Interactive Laser Pet Toy

All Your Friends are Dead – A Look on the Darker Side

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

What better way to teach children about the negatives of life than with humorous cartoon imagery?

Get them prepared for a lifetime of misery and disappointment, as well as prime them for checking the Internet for the obituaries of their friends.

Or, maybe it’s not meant for kids. Our bad. Anyway, good parents can make that determination for themselves. Bad parents should whip out their credit cards and buy now.

Get it now: All My Friends Are Dead

Dogs Don’t Know It’s an Air Freshener

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Spruce up your old beat up car with the fresh scent of bacon. Or, get rid of that funky new car smell.

You can also use it to freshen up the family room, or the bathroom.

Hang it in the dining room when you’re serving meatloaf to trick the kids into thinking you made bacon.

Or, liven things up in the bedroom with the awesome scent of fried bacon. What could be better?

Just keep out of reach of your dog. And kids.

Get it here: Bacon Air Freshener