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I Am Good for Nothing

August 27th, 2010

Ever take one of those online career aptitude tests to see what you should be doing?

They often recommend stuff you would never have thought of.

Several months ago (or more), I tried one. Apparently, according to it, I should be in hotel management.

This evening, I tried two different ones.

The result for the first one was that I should be a criminal investigator. At the bottom of the list was a cook. Somewhere in the middle was firefighter or fire analyst or the guy that figures out why a fire started or something. So, I should cook things over a flame or figure out how fires get started. There weren’t even any questions about fire, so it’s not like I was answering questions like “Do you like fire?” with answers like “Oh, yeah, baby!” Not that that would have been my answer, but it seems like it assumed I like fire or something. But, pyrotechnician was not on the list. So, seemingly, I like fire but not too much.

After that, I took another test on another site. This one was long and involved and you wondered if it was ever going to end. Finally, it did end. I once I finally got through to the results page (after page after page of “offers”), well, the results are pretty much that I should go out behind the woodshed and shoot myself because apparently I’m good for nothing.

The only thing they did recommend was that I would be well suited to some sort of analytical position.

Which would probably mean I would die of boredom, if I didn’t find a nice spot behind the woodshed first.

So, according to these various tests, ideally, I should run a hotel, investigate crimes or shoot myself.


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Deeds, Indeed

August 26th, 2010

Deeds, indeed.

What if there was a need
For a deed in order to feed?

Would you be too weak to read
If you had no deed
And without it could not feed?

Would you order some mead
And drink it with your steed?

Would a mare have a need
For the steed to pay heed?

Oh, indeed.

Would to water she him lead
In order to fulfill a thirsty need?

Oh, indeed.

But would a horse need a deed
In order to drink and feed?
How absurd, indeed!

Would you bet you’d never need
To obtain some sort of deed
In order to feed
When politicians pay no heed,
Nor even do they read,
The laws they say we need?

Oh, how not to lead.

Indeed.


Have You Seen Them?

August 25th, 2010

How you missed them, I don’t know.

Slip a sock over your toe.

Your big toe–both so you know?

Then I would get on the go.

 

The zombies are ’neath your couch.

Like a baby in a pouch.

Better to not at all slouch.

Get off of the freakin’ couch!

 

They are coming to get you.

They’re covered in filthy goo.

Horrible smelling, like poo.

Do not get stuck in some glue!

 

May already be too late.

The zombies have sealed your fate.

Don’t go try to set a date.

You’ll be one of them soon, mate.


When the Zombies Roam the Earth

August 24th, 2010

When the past collides with the bright future,
Anything can happen, that is true, for sure.

Zombies run around, wanting for no cure.
Finding brains tasty, undeath they’ll endure.

Running and screaming, people turn azure,
Because the zombies infect them impure.

Into the sunshine, people they do lure.
Sunlight means safety, themselves they assure.

Zombies aren’t vampires, so light not secure.
Alas the people, pity them, fools poor.

Travel now safely, smiles ought not allure,
For where there’re zombies, not marked in brochure.


Brain Games - Lumosity

Twice More with Kneeling

August 23rd, 2010

Jabberty wibbledy doo.

The mouse ran ’round the flue.

Were you small so could you.

This much I know is true.

Jabberty wibbledy doe.

The mouse went out to mow

With a swollen red toe.

Why? You would like to know.

Jabberty wibbledy does.

The mouse heard quite a buzz.

A bee was stuck in fuzz.

Why she was there? Because.

Jabberty wibbledy done.


Withholding the Evidence of a Blog Post

August 22nd, 2010

Is there a blog post here?

Dunno.

Is that what you think you’re reading?

I disagree.

No, I agree.

Yes, this is a blog post.

Such as it is.

Can you prove it is not?

It is on a blog.

It is a post.

Therefore, it is a blog post.

Logical, no?

Substantive, no.

But, a blog post need not be substantive to be a blog post.

I feel like I’ve said that before.

At the very least, blog posts like this are easy and quick to read.

Quick to write too.

Usually.

Though I sometimes do need to pause to think.

Like right now.

You don’t realize it now, but I paused to think.

Feel free to take a pretend pause in acknowledgment.

Nod your head in agreement.

Now stick your left foot in and shake it all about.

Okay. We’re done here.


Brain Games - Lumosity

So, Last Weekend…

August 21st, 2010

Anyway, last weekend, I heard about a writer who had sold 30,000 copies of his or her (I think it was her) books just on Amazon.com for the Kindle. I think maybe I shared the link. Or maybe not.

She has six books and has them on Amazon.com and sold those 30,000 copies in under a year. And these were fiction–not the typical “how to” type eBooks that “everyone” says sells so well online.

I thought that would be worth a try.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any finished books to try to do that with.

I do have a completed book I finished years ago, and that I was going to try to self-publish years ago, but I wrote that in grade school and maybe finished polishing it up while still in high school. It’s not really a publishable work (though I thought it was then). On top of that, it’s only a few thousand words long, which is short story territory and not book territory.

So, um, I gots nuthin’.

So, I figured what I would do is set aside at least an hour each day to work on my writing. I have several options to choose from (which is a problem in and of itself). I’ve mentioned many of them before but why not sum up for those who have forgotten, which is pretty much everyone probably.

If you think of novel length as somewhere around 100,000 to 120,000 words or so, here’s what I have. For easy figuring, let’s say a novel is 100,000 words.

I have one work that is about 10% done. This is the one that is actually furthest along. I have others that feel like they are further along, but that’s only because I’ve run the stories through my head so many times, that it just feels like they are further along. This one was originally intended to be a serialized story, but then I got so involved in creating the story that I thought I could get a novel out of it.

For a long time, I didn’t touch it. Unfortunately, I left off at a cliff-hanger. And, while I once knew what happened next, I had forgotten by the time I touched it again. In turn, that meant I kept putting it off, hoping I would one day remember. Well, a few months back (I think), I got past that cliff-hanger. The resolution is pretty much the same as I always intended. It’s the “who” that I had forgotten which meant I wasn’t sure how to get to the resolution. So, I came up with a “who” that may or may not have been my original “who” and went from there.

Also, I think it could be a decent movie or mini-series. Not necessarily a feature film, but maybe a TV movie. It’d sure be better than a lot of the Syfy original movies that air on Saturday nights. Ugh.

Of course, every writer thinks their stuff could be a good movie, so that probably tells you nothing, really.

The kicker here is that I have specific ideas of who I would want to play certain parts. And, you know I would not likely have control over casting, especially not on my first outing, assuming, of course, it even got that far. So, they probably wouldn’t cast the people that could really bring the characters to life, but rather some “name” or something.

Of course, the possibility of a movie actually getting made is, reasonably speaking, slim to none, so why even worry about it? Yet, you can’t help but worry about it. Of course, I could just simply refuse to sell movie rights unless I have casting approval or something, but, there again, narrowing the odds…

Moving on to the next project, it is about 2-3% or so done. I had a couple chapters done, but then I reworked it, so my original first chapters will now be later chapters, so they may or may not need to be rewritten. As for the actual beginning, I think I have maybe 100 words or so on that! Laughable, I know. But, I’ve gotten hung up on the outline. This is actually a prequel to another story I’m working on but I’ve decided to do this one first, because otherwise, as an actual prequel, you’d know how it ends before you got to it. So, better to just do it first rather than set it aside for a prequel later on. Clear as mud?

As I said, I’ve gotten hung up on the outline. I have to fit it to work within certain parameters I’ve already set up for the actual story, which would have been the original story but would now be considered a sequel, maybe. It gets confusing. Anyway, so I have to work around those settings, plus I need to make this story stand on its own. I’ve already changed the lead characters. Readers weren’t feeling it with the original pair of leads. So, now I’ve demoted them. They are still an integral part of the story and part of the main cast of characters, but they are not the leads. Instead, I have a single lead character. But, trying to get him from point A to point B has been a challenge because it has to be done in a way that makes sense and doesn’t feel contrived. Right now, I’ve got a twenty year or so gap between point A and point B. I’m not sure if that’s the optimal way, but I need to show him as a youth so you see where he’s coming from when he’s older.

And it’s been a struggle.

And then there’s another story that is maybe 1% done, if I’m lucky. I have more planned out than what I have written. It’s another that I think could make a decent movie, but it’s also one where I’m not picky about casting. So, from that perspective, it would be a good starting point. Get that done, hope someone would want to make a movie, hope the movie does well, and hope that would give me a track record whereby I might be able to negotiate casting control over the next movie, which would be the first story I mentioned.

Of course, all that just makes me wonder whether I should write screenplays rather than novels. My writing seems to fall somewhere in between. I think I’m more verbose than a screenplay writer but not as verbose as a novelist.

But, maybe that’s just my style and I should go with it. Don’t know.

And therein lies a part of the problem. Which do I tackle and what do I do? And, when I pick one, it feels like I should be working on another. All of that creates for more distraction and contemplation which leads to further procrastination.

I think I developed a bad habit of coming up with multiple ideas. I used to be better able to focus on one thing and get it done. I’d have that passion to tell a certain story. I still have that passion, but it’s split among several stories. And the passion seems to move toward whatever I’m not working on. I need to work at getting obsessed with a particular story rather than jumping about.

I figured it out that, last year, I wrote that eBook of mine in about 3 or 4 months. It took me a six to seven month period, I think. But there was one month where I didn’t do much with it at all because I was waiting on test readers to get back to me. And then there was 1 or 2 months of time spent in editing and formatting the eBook and getting the whole thing all together and ready to sell. In terms of actual writing time, that was just a 3 or 4 month period, during which time I was also blogging and doing other things.

So, in 3 or 4 months (let’s say 4), I wrote an eBook that was about 120,000 words in length, which is novel length. That works out to be over 25,000 words a month. I remember that, when I first started the first story I mentioned in this post, I was writing about 1,000 words each night I worked on it. (Some nights I edited or tweaked.) So, in 3 or 4 months time, I could have a completed novel. (There are some challenges to write a novel in a month.)

Upon reading about that author last weekend, I decided that’s what I ought to do. Last weekend, I checked through my stories and tried to refresh my memory on them.

But, not one day in the past week was I able to actually spend writing. I’ve had other things to do, work for clients, work around the house, and miscellaneous stuff. So, it just hasn’t worked out.

It’s frustrating.

It carries with it, of course, the realization that many writers don’t make enough off of their writing to make a living at it. They work other jobs. So, when there are bills to pay and the economy is bad such as it is, it is difficult to justify spending time on something that may not be able to pay the bills. Sure, there is a passion to get your stories out there, even without regard for money, but there is also the unfortunate realization that it’s something that maybe shouldn’t be prioritized. You know?

Still, it shouldn’t be hard to find an hour a day to set aside, but then you have to get yourself into that right frame of mind. It gets easier once you get yourself into it. Yet, then there is the issue of which to work on, for example. Perhaps over thinking it is part of the problem.

It’s one big bag of frustration. That’s what it is.


Brain Games - Lumosity

Delusions of Blog Posting

August 20th, 2010

Write write write.

 

Writey write writing write write.

 

Writey writey write writes write write.

 

Writingly writing write.

 

Writey write write!


Brain Games - Lumosity

And the Week Does Not Get Any Better

August 19th, 2010

Really.

 

A package I was expecting yesterday did not show up.

So, I just knew it would be here today.

It should have been here today.

I planned on it being here today.

 

So, you can imagine the sad disappointment when the mail came and went with no sign of the package that I needed today.

 

C’est la vie.


Brain Games - Lumosity

It’s Been One of Those Weeks

August 18th, 2010

The week started off on a promising note.

 

And then it’s just been downhill from there.

 

At least it will be over soon.

 

But let’s hope things get better before it is over.

 

Fingers crossed…

 

Still crossed…


Brain Games - Lumosity